I hear people say often that “You can’t help who you love.” But I honestly believe that this is a farce.
Many failed toxic relationships have been excused with the “love is blind phrase. However, what many fail to really realise is that love isn’t abrupt or out of the blue – it is the result of a series of intentional acts.
Think about it. How can you know if you truly love someone when you barely know that person? You may think you know this person — that’s what love does to us — but you don’t. People think they fall in love all the time, but they’re not truly in love.
Falling in love can lead to actually being in love, and being in love can lead to actual loving. And in order for you to love, you need to choose to love. You need to choose to be loving. You need to look at the person you’re with and choose to love that person all over again – even and especially when – it’s not convenient.
The same concept applies to friendships and even familial relationships. We allow ourselves become drawn into toxicity where we are still in control and can choose where we focus our energies. The idea is to lead a healthy life in mind, body and soul. Why then do we allow negativity take up that space? Perhaps it is because we have become accustomed to feeling that it is what we deserve, or we do not love ourselves just yet or we simply are unaware of the fact that we do have a choice.
Instead, we like to mistake love for Chemistry. Chemistry being uncontrollable chemical reactions which occur outside of our control. hydrogen and chlorine will result in hydrochloride and voila! That’s where it ends. Wrong.
Love is not chemistry, it is voluntary. You must choose to do it. It won’t be easy. It’s easier when the person you’re with is right for you, it’s easier when you’re choosing to love those that will be beneficial to your growth and strength.
I hope we make the best decisions regarding where we choose to invest our energies. So many people seem to be in situations that could have been avoided if they had just trusted themselves enough to let go. It is important to value yourself and your well being above all else.
You can choose who you love and you can choose happiness.
Photo Credit: Atlanta Black Star
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