She bares it all in this interview: From her battle with depression, to going through menopause, learning how to be a good partner and also the struggles of living up to the expectations of being a “strong black woman”. She raised some very deep issues in this feature that help to teach a lot of life lessons. It is not often that you see a black woman be so open and honest about what they are feeling and their struggles.

One of the most compelling aspects of the interview is when she talks about “the culture of silence” in the black community, and how this culture is killing us all slowly. I say “us” because although Taraji is African American, and I’m African – specifically – Nigerian, I feel like it’s something that we can relate to as well.

Taraji mentioned that in the Black Community, people tend to talk freely about anything from thyroids, to cancer, to wife beaters, robberies, murders and gang violence, but when it comes to actually talking about how these challenges make them feel or the emotions they stir up people, or how such trauma has impacted them, most people just shut down and just sweep it under the rug. She says:

“We have to break this cycle of keeping quiet…when you’re quiet, things aren’t fixed. They get worse.”

Amongst our people, there is so much pressure to keep things bottled up and just push things down. Ignore the pain, just work through it, be strong, don’t let it keep you down, you don’t need to talk about it, it’s over; these are some of the statements that are used to encourage people to keep their emotions bottled up.

I know firsthand, how overwhelming it can be to keep feelings of discomfort bottled up. I used to be the kind of person who would never let anyone know if something was bothering me. I would keep it bottled inside till the sad feelings submerged me emotionally. Over time, I realized that if I didn’t find a way to “unbottle” my feelings, they could become detrimental to my well-being. Luckily, a particular friend of mine became my closest confidante, and my world changed. Suddenly, I felt a sweet kind of freedom to express myself with no limits whenever I was going through a rough patch, and trust me, being able to do this is a gift.

The truth is keeping things inside doesn’t help anybody. We are all human and we need to be able to talk about our pain, that’s the first step to working through it.

Taraji says she realized she suffered from depression about two years ago; this was because she started having sudden mood swings. She says:

“I would get so low, really, really low, beaten, like never before… You may have those days [when] you’re like, ‘Oh, I just don’t feel like getting out of bed. I just want to sleep in,’ but you don’t feel heavy. I was just starting to feel heavy a lot, [like] suffocating…. It just came out of nowhere.”

When she started feeling this way she realized she needed to get help. Also, her son was going through some issues as well at the time, as his father was murdered when he was nine and his grandfather died about two years later. It was a lot to deal with and he shutdown emotionally.

Henson went on a journey to find a ‘unicorn’ therapist as she called it, who could understand her cultural background and really get where she was coming from. When she finally found her therapist and started expressing how she was feeling to her she discovered that her mood swings actually stemmed from the fact that she was going through menopause – a fact she probably wouldn’t have discovered if she hadn’t sought to get the help she needed.

These experiences ignited her passion form mental health awareness in the black community – especially among kids from ages 5-18.

She started her own foundation called the Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation, which was started to help diminish the stigma around mental health in the black community. The foundation helps schools create “peace corners,” or areas in classrooms for students to safely express their feelings.

In addition, the foundation is also working to place culturally competent therapists in schools, and also makes available a database of therapists anyone can access, amongst other benefits. The foundation is named after Henson’s father, who was thought to have bipolar disorder.

“I hope that one day we can all be free to talk about mental health and be okay with seeking help,” she says.

And I agree with her.

Photo Credit: SELF

Tyler Perry brought the audience to it’s feet last night as he rendered one of the most impactful speeches ever, at the 2019 BET Awards.

The writer, producer, and  director was honored with BET’s Ultimate Icon Award. Taraji P. Henson, who has appeared in some of Perry’s films including The Family That Preys (2008), I Can Do Bad All By Myself (2009) and Acrimony (2018), presented him with the award.

In his powerful speech, Perry talked about how he grew up in an abusive household and that often, to make his mother laugh, he would imitate the women she played cards with. He also stated that those experiences allowed him to create his first 10 movies.

“That moment reminded me of my mother, bringing out of her pain with laughter, helping her cross,” he said. He added that he created those films in hopes of letting his mother know “she’s worthy, to let black women know you are worthy, you are special, you are powerful, you are amazing. All of that that was about helping her cross.”

He also spoke about building his Tyler Perry Studios in Atlanta and giving many African-American actors like Taraji P. Henson, Idris Elba and Viola Davies their big break, at a time when they couldn’t get acting gigs in mainstream Hollywood.

One major highlight from his speech was when he said:

“It’s all about trying to help somebody cross. While everybody else is fighting for a seat at the table, talking about ‘#OscarsSoWhite, #OscarsSoWhite,’ I said, ‘Y’all go ahead and do that. While you’re fighting for a seat at the table, I’ll be down in Atlanta building my own.’ Because what I know for sure is that if I could just build this table, God will prepare it for me in the presence of my enemies.”

Tyler Perry’s speech was met with a standing ovation. Watch his powerful speech in the video below:

Hard work really does pay off. We are so pumped right now by this speech! Our major takeway is this: If they don’t open the door for you then build a freaging door of your own Queens! Yassss

Taraji is one of several African-American celebrities in Hollywood, who seem to be opting for dating and/or marrying younger men. Fellow actress and now bestselling author, Gabrielle Union, 45,  also married her significantly younger heartthrob, 36-year-old basketball champion, Dwayne Wade, and they seem to equally be going strong considering they dated for 9 years and have been married for roughly 4 years.

Well like Aaliyah said, “Age ain’t nothing but a number” right?

What are some perks that come with dating a younger man, if at all any?

We’ve compiled a list of some below and we’ll let you be the judge!

Refreshing perspective

The older you get, the more your belief systems are formed. Dating a younger man might help with looking at life through brand new lens and this isn’t always such a bad thing. In fact, it might help you grow and get you out of your comfort zone in ways that you never knew could be possible.

He will absolutely adore you 

I can’t help but think of Mommager-in-Chief, Kris Jenner and now ex-boyfriend (stay with me here), Corey Gamble. Whenever I watched them relate to each other on their hit-reality TV series, Keeping up with the Kardashians, it always seemed like he almost looked up to her. It turns out that this is a major perk of dating a younger man as chances are, you’ve treaded the path they will only later walk through and you’ve had more life experiences than they have. Similar to a mentor-mentee relationship, there’s a sense of adulation that naturally flows as a result.

They’ll make you feel young

This is perhaps the most obvious benefit that comes with dating a younger man. When you’re much older, sometimes, you’re looking to still feel young and get involved in activities that make you feel alive and healthy. Older men are less likely to feel the need to experiment and become adventurous as they’re probably stuck in their ways and have already been there, done that. It goes without saying that a younger person’s lifestyle might be more refreshing and fun.

You’re taken back to the roots of love

Discarding societal norms by dating a younger man can be so liberating and also force you to focus on the parts of the relationship that truly matter, such as how he treats you and makes you feel.

He’s more optimistic about love

An older man has probably been through failed relationships, marriage(s), or even worse, the death of a partner. As a result, he is less excited about love or the possibility of romance. On the contrary, a younger man has had less negative experiences from which to feed off so it makes sense that he’s more positive about the possibility of a relationship that he isn’t automatically thinking about the prospect of it failing and may be even more prone to putting in the necessary work as a result of his mindset.

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There you have it! Would you consider dating a younger lad or is it a big no-no for you?