For me, it’s a mix. Words of affirmation mean a lot, but only when they’re backed up with actions. Tell me I’m doing well, yes, but let me also feel it in the way you show up for me. That’s when it sticks.

I also light up at gifts, but not in the big, bougie way people think. It’s not about price tags; it’s about thought. A snack I mentioned in passing. A book I’d been eyeing. It’s the surprise that says, “I paid attention.” That kind of gift feels like love wrapped in a ribbon. And I think that’s the real heart of gifts as a love language — it’s not materialism, it’s mindfulness. It’s knowing that someone heard you, remembered, and wanted to make you smile.

At the same time, I’ve noticed how I love others. I lean toward acts of kindness. I like to buy things for the people I care about, do small things that make life easier for them. That’s my way of saying, “I see you. I’ve got you.”

But here’s the bigger truth: love languages aren’t just about me, or you, or what comes naturally. They’re about paying attention to what fills someone else’s tank. Because the way I want love shown to me isn’t always the way someone else needs it. And loving well means being intentional enough to meet them there.

That’s why love languages still matter. They remind us that love is more than just a feeling; it’s an action. It’s the little choices that add up: sending that text, planning that date, giving that hug, or buying that snack. It’s not about grand gestures, it’s about consistent ones.

It’s also not about guessing or assuming, but learning the “language” that makes your person feel safe, seen, and valued. And when you both commit to that? That’s where the magic really happens.

The post Love Languages 101: Why They Still Matter in 2025 appeared first on Queen moremi.

Here’s where I’ve landed (for now): I still believe in “the one”, but not the way movies write it. I think “the one” is the person you can build oneness with: someone whose values align with yours, who chooses you back, and with whom you can grow through the regular, non-cinematic parts of life. Not a magical, perfect fit, but a purposeful, faithful fit.

From a Christian angle, this helped me breathe: God already knows who I’ll end up with, He’s all-knowing. That doesn’t mean there’s only one possible person roaming the earth with my name on their forehead. It means that within His will, when two people choose each other and choose covenant, God can bless that union and make it “the one.” In other words, my soulmate isn’t just found; they’re also formed—through daily yeses, forgiveness, shared purpose, and commitment.

That also means I don’t have to live scared that I’ll “miss” God’s plan like a bus I didn’t run fast enough to catch. If I take a wrong turn, He knows the route better than I do. He can reroute. He can redeem. He’s not fragile, and neither is His ability to write a good story with less-than-perfect humans.

Do I still love the romance of believing there’s someone out there who gets me in a way no one else does? Absolutely. But I’m learning to test that feeling with real questions:
— Do we want the same kind of life, not just the same kind of wedding?
— Can we disagree without destroying each other?
— Do we both tell the truth, keep promises, and come back to the table when it’s hard?
— Do our faith, character, and rhythms of life support the love we say we want?

Because chemistry will start a fire, but character keeps the house warm.

And what about the hard realities—breakups, divorces, years of singleness? This is where my old idea of soulmates felt too brittle. Life is complicated. People change. Hearts heal. Sometimes the person you thought was “it” was only your person for a season. That doesn’t make your story a failure; it means you’re human. And when love does show up, it won’t feel like you missed it; it will feel like it was always meant to arrive when it did.

So are soulmates real? I think so, just not as destiny you might fumble, but as destiny you build. For me, a soulmate is the person I choose within God’s will, who chooses me back, again and again. It’s discovery and decision. It’s prayer, wisdom, laughter, repentance, and showing up in the ordinary Tuesdays.

Maybe the question isn’t “Is there only one person for me?”
Maybe it’s “Who can I become one with—before God and with His help?”

That’s the love I believe in: not fragile, not fatalistic—just faithful.

The post Are Soulmates Real or Do I Just Like the Idea of Them? appeared first on Queen moremi.

It’s the silence that feels loud. The urge to pick up the phone, only to remember you can’t. The sting of seeing their updates online, realising you’re no longer part of their world. And sometimes, what makes it worse is how small the “last straw” seemed. You thought it could’ve been fixed, that it wasn’t worth ending everything over. But for them, it was enough.

That’s why healing takes time, because you’re not just grieving the person, you’re grieving the version of yourself that existed in that friendship. The shared language, the comfort, the certainty that they’d always be there. It’s hard to let that go.

You might replay the last conversation in your head a hundred times, wondering what you could have said differently. That’s natural. But at some point, you have to let the replay stop. Closure doesn’t always come wrapped in answers, and sometimes that has to be okay.

Healing doesn’t happen in one big moment; it shows up in small shifts. The first day you don’t feel the urge to check their page. The first laugh that doesn’t feel weighed down. The slow realisation that even without them, you’re still standing.

It also means leaning into what you still have, the family who shows up, the community that supports you, even the quiet of your own company. In those spaces, you begin to see that your life is still full, even without the friendship you lost.

And when you’re ready, stay open. Just because one person walked away doesn’t mean you’ll never have deep, life-giving friendships again. Sometimes, the end of one story is the clearing that makes room for another, one that will meet you where you are now.

Healing is messy, but it’s also proof that your heart still works. And as painful as it is, one day you’ll look back and see not just what you lost, but how much you’ve grown because of it. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll realise that letting go created room for something new, something better, something aligned with who you are now.

So yes, friendship breakups hurt. They leave questions, they leave scars, and they leave you missing someone who once felt like home. But they also remind us of our capacity to love, to forgive, and eventually, to start again.

The post Healing from Friendship Breakups: Why They Hurt So Much appeared first on Queen moremi.

As we celebrate International Women’s Day today, her story reminds us that “balance for better” is more than just a catch phrase. Damola reminds us that when we balance our faith in God with our human expectations, a beautiful thing happens – God takes the wheel and gives our situation a total makeover, and in the end, we are better for it.

When and how did you first gain an awareness about God?
I was born into a Christian home so I have always been aware of God. As a child, I had the sort of relationship that is expected of a child – I loved Bible club, the Christian videos etc.

My teenage years were a bit of a blur as I suffered a loss that disconnected me from the reality of God. So, I always knew God was there, but if we were going to have a personal relationship, He was going to have to catch my attention big time – I wanted my burning bush experience!

In 2011, I was to undergo a surgical procedure and I said to God, now is your time to show me who you are. I was radical about it, I didn’t know how He was going to do it , but I wasn’t having any surgery. A few months down the line, I travelled to the UK to have the procedeure. Two days before the scheduled surgery date, I had a routine consultation with the doctor where he talked me through the procedure and any questions I had ( my main concern was anaesthesia – what if I didn’t wake up!). Anyway, after the consultation, the Doctor looked at me and said he didn’t think undergoing the procedure was necessary any longer and cancelled. He cancelled the scheduled surgery!

That day was it for me. I was, and still am, in awe of a God that was willing to come down to meet me right where I am. A God that will do whatever it takes to prove Himself to you.

How has your journey with God been since then?
Have you ever heard the phrase “walk with Jesus and you will never walk alone”? This is what it has been for me. It hasn’t been the easiest or smoothest of rides and there have definitely been times that have caused to momentarily question my faith. But as I have continue to strive to grow as a Christian, God has consistently shown Himself to be an amazing father and friend – I have found joy in the midst of pain, stumbled on love in some very dark places and gained the confidence to be myself.

As a Nigerian millennial woman, were you ever influenced by societal pressure to get married by a certain age?
In my teenage years, I had it all worked out – get married at 24 and have 4 kids by 30. This was just what I assumed the natural progression of life was. This didn’t happen. I wasn’t even married by my 30^th birthday.  At about 25/26 most of my friends were getting married and having babies, there was definitely some pressure there but it wasn’t something I let influence me.

You recently got married, congrats! How’s newlywed life treating you?
Thank you! It has been a great journey so far. As I always say “we are learning everyday”

How did you meet your husband?
We met at Church. We were both on the launch team for a youth church and leadership team after inception. One day, he asked me to coffee, I said “sure,” we went to the café… the rest as they say, is history!

In what ways did your faith in God play a role in picking your spouse?
Honestly, I did not always use faith as a guide when choosing the relationships I got into earlier. So, I always say my marital destiny was special to God’s heart because He was constantly uprooting me from the wrong relationships – one day I’m in a relationship, the next it is over. I just knew in my heart that God wanted the best for me and that my husband must be a physical representation of God’s love for me. So I was always glad for His interventions!

One day, I was having a heartfelt sincere tête-à-tête with God about why I seemed to not be making the right decisions about my relationships. And God said to me clearly, that his desire for me was a relationship where we will both complement each other’s ministries –  in God’s actual words “someone who you will do ministry together”. I remember laughing out loud and saying to God, as if the pool of eligible men isn’t small enough, you are adding ministry into it.

From that moment, it became more important to me to be with a man that was not only God fearing (because we all say we are) but someone who had a genuine heart for God, that you could see from his faith, ministry and worship.

You were once engaged years ago but that relationship did not lead to marriage. Can you tell us more about that?
It just didn’t. Marriage has never been the be all or end all for me. We were not right for each other and did not see the future that I wanted with him.

How did you cope in the aftermath of that relationship?
I was actually okay with. During our engagement, I was often filled with fear and apprehension because I knew in my heart that getting married to him was not the right decision for me. So when we did break up I actually felt relieved more than heart broken. Plus, my formula is give yourself a “crying period – and then move on.

How did you find the will and courage to give love a second chance?
I always said that I will never let one person or experience rob me of a lifetime of happiness. I think hidden in me somewhere was a fairy-tale I wasn’t willing to let go of.

In what ways have you evolved as a result of these experiences, and what valuable lessons do you feel you have learned?
The one key thing I have learnt is to be intentional about relationships. Be very clear, mature and reasonable on what it is you want from a partner. Don’t just see as things go, don’t ignore red flags and don’t settle! This applies to all areas of life – be intentional!

What advice would you give to any millennial woman who may be in a relationship but is unsure if their partner is husband material?
What is “husband material” Well, according to whatever your definition is, if you there are things that are making you unsure about a man, leave. Ladies please, we are not talking about petty things but things that you know you cannot come to accept or live with. No one changes in marriage, marriage actually amplifies everything – the good, bad and ugly!

What are some practical ways you would advise newlyweds to involve God in their marriage?

• Let the Bible be your reference point for everything. For me, I have chosen a verse to guide my actions and thoughts. Proverbs 14:1 – The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.
• Pray together, be it the simplest of prayers.
• Have Godly mentors. People that will guide you truthfully and not fail to admonish you when you are wrong.

The post A Healing Miracle, Finding an Amazing Husband & Evolving in Christ: Oyinda Sanwoolu Shares Testimonies of God’s Love appeared first on Queen moremi.

Our grandmas say there were high moral values and standards back then. Women were seen as precious gems and they were cherished and loved by these men.

Well grandma, in recent times, a lot of things have changed. And I think that it’s because modernization and westernization have influenced our culture to a large extent, including our dating culture.

These days, women are being stringed along in relationships without any destination in mind. When you ask some men where the relationship is heading, their response would be “lets still how it goes”. 

In the process of waiting to for a man to decide, some  ladies have closed the door to other men, had countless abortions, and some have even given these men their life-savings and treated several sexual transmitted diseases. Others have even lost their wombs due to long-term abuse of their reproductive systems.

What inspired this write-up was a recent popular tweet I saw, tagged “O jewa ke eng? (A twitter slang for what is bothering you?).  In response, a lady  shared her dating experience, how she dated a guy for ten years, stole her father’s money, eloped with him to another state, dumped her education and aborted several pregnancies, yet the guy broke up with her over a text message. This lady was disowned by her family already. People on Twitter encouraged her to stay strong.

Easier said than done, but some ladies have landed at psychiatric hospitals due to heart- break and emotional trauma. You may begin to wonder if she was out of her mind for doing what she did. But truth is, people love differently and we have no right to judge anyone. Love is blind.

From my own perspective, I believe that all this can be avoided if single ladies become very prayerful and intentional about who they date.

Personally, I see dating as the period we get to know if whoever we are seeing will make a potential husband. It should be a DEFINED RELATIONSHIP. Personally, I cannot wrap my mind around dating a man just for fun.

I have few nuggets and recommended books that will help you if you are seeing someone new or you have been a relationship for a while and you have no idea where it is heading.

Set some standards: The moment you start setting standards in your relationship is the moment you realize the men that don’t meet up to your expectations. Don’t waste your time and energy. End the relationship now and stop making excuses. Below are some books that can help understand the power of having standards when dating.

• ”Act like a lady, Think like a man” –  Steve Harvey
• “Why men marry Bitches” – Sherry Argov
• “The Rules” Book – Ellen Fein & Sherrie Schneider
• “Boundaries in Dating”  – Henry Cloud

Be intentional: One time when I was hanging out with my girlfriends, we were gisting about our men, then I asked why they are dating who they were with. Surprisingly, I got ridiculous answers like, “I know he is not the one but we just having fun.” Some said, “at least I have a boyfriend who can take me out whenever I want.” Dating men for superficial reasons is not advisable, as a matter of fact, that is where some ladies get stuck. You don’t want to be stuck do you? Please be intentional about your dating life. Some books to help you in this area are as follows:

• “The lady her lover and her lord” – T.D Jakes
• “Waiting and Dating”  – Myles Munroe
• “Secrets of an Irresistible Woman” – Michelle Hammond

Read these books, feed your mind and empower yourself.  You are not some piece of rag any man can use and dump. You are a Queen, wear your crown well.

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

The post Where is your Relationship Heading? appeared first on Queen moremi.

Many failed toxic relationships have been excused with the “love is blind phrase. However, what many fail to really realise is that love isn’t abrupt or out of the blue – it is the result of a series of intentional acts.

Think about it. How can you know if you truly love someone when you barely know that person? You may think you know this person — that’s what love does to us — but you don’t. People think they fall in love all the time, but they’re not truly in love.

Falling in love can lead to actually being in love, and being in love can lead to actual loving. And in order for you to love, you need to choose to love. You need to choose to be loving. You need to look at the person you’re with and choose to love that person all over again – even and especially when – it’s not convenient.

The same concept applies to friendships and even familial relationships. We allow ourselves become drawn into toxicity where we are still in control and can choose where we focus our energies. The idea is to lead a healthy life in mind, body and soul. Why then do we allow negativity take up that space? Perhaps it is because we have become accustomed to feeling that it is what we deserve, or we do not love ourselves just yet or we simply are unaware of the fact that we do have a choice.

Instead, we like to mistake love for Chemistry. Chemistry being uncontrollable chemical reactions which occur outside of our control. hydrogen and chlorine will result in hydrochloride and voila! That’s where it ends. Wrong.

Love is not chemistry, it is voluntary. You must choose to do it. It won’t be easy. It’s easier when the person you’re with is right for you, it’s easier when you’re choosing to love those that will be beneficial to your growth and strength.

I hope we make the best decisions regarding where we choose to invest our energies. So many people seem to be in situations that could have been avoided if they had just trusted themselves enough to let go. It is important to value yourself and your well being above all else.

You can choose who you love and you can choose happiness.

Photo Credit: Atlanta Black Star

The post You CAN & SHOULD Choose Who You Love appeared first on Queen moremi.

However, that’s all done now because Molly (her character name on Insecure) bagged herself a man and interestingly enough, he’s also on that journey of abstinence, is Nigerian (his Igbo name is Chinedum) and he has a job (he’s a former NFL player turned ESPN Analyst). Talk about a dunk in the net!

The couple is currently on vacation in Mexico, and they aren’t being shy about making the rest of us jealous on Instagram. From sandy workouts on the beach to the ocean view, to, of course, taking a few relationship goal photos for Instagram (PS: We know we told you not to buy into #couplegoals, we haven’t forgotten but finding someone on the same spiritual journey as you is always worth celebrating. We know how hard it is out here in the streets, let’s celebrate with a sister).

The couple has been dating for a couple of months, although we’re not sure how long, the actress made it instagram official in May.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BjAyZmhHvJ8/?taken-by=yvonneorji

Anyway, let’s get right down to it. Here’s the prayer she says she prayed to find this fine man:

“Dear God,
May he have abs like David
Skin like Sampson
A smile like Joseph
Fingernails like Solomon
Eyebrows like John The Baptist & A heart (and finances) like yours
In Jesus’ Name
Amen”

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bkv0fjbHlhK/?taken-by=yvonneorji

Can I get an Amen somebody?

Photo Credit: Instagram|Yvonne Orji

The post Yvonne Orji is Sharing the Prayer that Landed her a God-Fearing Man appeared first on Queen moremi.

Singer, Teyana Taylor, recently released her album titled, K.T.S.E (Keep That Same Energy), which contains a song called 3-way. She was asked about the song in an interview with Big Boy TV, and admitted that she had threesomes with her husband, Iman Shumpert. 

“Ok look. Listen. I ain’t finna sing about nothing that I ain’t been through. Ok. My album is what it is. But what’s crazy, something shocking, you know that 3 Way almost didn’t make the album? It’s crazy. I was like…I was like no!! This stays!

I was like do you know how many “thank you’s” I’m gonna get for this?!! The summer is lit!! The summer of lit!!” Once you break it down and the reason I say this. I’m not saying that this is what you have to do, but I’m what I’m saying is when you make a vow and your married, it ain’t no limits. Period!”

However, the 27 year old also advises that both partners only do what they’re comfortable with. She states that in her opinion, to have a good, healthy marriage, you have to be open-minded and keep things spicy in the bedroom especially if you plan to be with this person forever.

The mother of one who is married to a professional basketball player might be on to something as athletes tend to have a bad record with staying faithful due to their excess wealth and being out on the road often. So, I’m guessing it’s not cheating if you’re doing it with your wife right? Right? Or are we all going mad?

What say you?

The post Threesomes in a Marriage? Teyana Taylor is all For It! appeared first on Queen moremi.

However, when entering into a relationship; many casually sit at the table with no idea what it is they would require from the commitment of the other party, failing to ask the relevant critical questions before delving into such a delicate partnership.

To build a successful relationship, both parties must know pre-relationship, what exactly they need from it.

To assist you, we’ve come up with a few questions that you should have answers to before choosing to commit.

We’ve narrowed it down to 9 questions to guide you:

1. How well do I know Him?
Don’t trust someone until you know them. The knowledge of a person is as deep as having your instincts connecting to theirs well enough that you can pre-empt them in certain situations. You’ll also have an idea what they’re truly capable of. Anyone can pretend to be something they are not. To best know them, study what they’re like in their natural environments e.g around family, friends, the things they say passively and how they treat people that they do not need. Observe, Observe, Observe.

“What kind of family does he/she come from? That was their foundation and upbringing until they left home. No matter how far we travel, those development years left a huge impression on who we are, and who we’re likely to resort back to when we’re older.”

2. Can I trust him with my secrets?
If they share your private conversations with others, walk away or have a serious discussion about that issue. If you don’t take care about this now, chances are you’ll only resent them later.

3. Can I enjoy his company even in the silence? 
If they can’t enjoy the silence with you and you need some form of activity to be ongoing to have a good time with them then it might be evidence that there’s a lot going on inside them and they need the noise for distraction. Or maybe all the bond you have is based on those activities that you both partake in.

4. Will this person change me for the better?

You become the sum total of the people you spend the most time with. You will spend a large quantity of your time with the person you date and then hopefully eventually marry, so this needs to be at the back of your mind when looking to build a relationship with a prospective gentleman.  Remember that you will marry a person you date. So ask this question early.

5. Am I attracted to their heart and character?
Physical attraction is key, however, the heart and character of a person are the very core of what they’re made up of. You need to check that his heart and character are in line with everything you stand for and value. Besides being good to you, is he a good man?

6. Does he/she appreciate me for who I am right now?
If they’re trying to change you, they’re not ready for a relationship. Plain and simple. The most mature, loving people I’ve ever encountered loved me for just who I was. The only time they called me out is when they knew I was knowingly or unknowingly about to hurt myself or others, and they were protecting me.

They might challenge you, which is a very good thing. But that is very different than someone trying to change you. Beware not to confuse these two.

7. How does he/she already treat people they love most?
I don’t mean during holidays or time spent after long periods apart, but every day. This will require spending a lot of time together with their families. If that’s impossible, don’t forget that this side of them, who they truly are, is a side you haven’t been exposed to yet.

I’ve met plenty of people who told me that their partners or spouses completely changed when they were back in the comforts and security of their families.

8. Does he/she strive to place my desires and needs first?
I understand the importance of giving and receiving. But if the person you’re with has the attitude of, “My desires are above yours,” they’re not ready for a relationship. They still have some growing up to do.

I’ve met plenty of people who believe the world revolves around them, rather than embracing the simple truth that we are all part of a universe.

We are a part of the human community within a universe. That universe nor its members are here to grant us our dreams and wishes. Until we realize this, we will live very selfishly and never understand what it will take to nurture and grow healthy relationships.

Clear warning signs: Temper tantrums, outbursts of anger, control issues and their believing you should read their minds to know their wants and desires without having to communicate them to you.

9. Are their hopes and dreams for the future compatible with yours?
Do they want a partnership where both are working in the corporate world or a traditional role where one partner stays home? Do they know where they’d like to settle? How does that tie into your future plans? Because it is also important that your future doesn’t take a back seat should you marry this person. Or else chances are that you will eventually grow to resent them.

Though it’s important to remind ourselves that our desires and interests change as we grow older, it’s still important to discuss these issues.

Are there any more questions you never asked your partner that came back to bite you in the end? Do feel free to share in the comment box below.

The post 9 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Committing to a Relationship appeared first on Queen moremi.

Over the long weekend, this particular topic sparked a debate on Twitter when a young man shared that he had advised his partner to shed her nose ring on a trip to meeting the in-laws for the first time. Twitter was divided with one arm stating that he fell in love with her as she was and she didn’t need to change who she was for his parents, the other wing insisted it was just a nose ring and taking it off was a sign of respect to her in-laws in these parts.

I won’t share my take but I once had a nose ring and my boyfriend at the time insisted I kept it on when I met his parents and they loved me. Yes, they were Nigerian. But, different strokes I guess. What say you?

Watch lifestyle vlogger, Sisi Yemmie‘s take on the issue below:

Photo Credit: YouTube

The post Trending: Sisi Yemmie Weighs in on Lady Who Insisted on Wearing Nose Ring to Meet In-Laws appeared first on Queen moremi.