There’s no doubt that it’s a significant day in the lives of everyone in the country. But more so, I’d like to reflect on the symbolism of what the concept of independence means to me.

There is something especially unique about the beginning of this particular new month. I feel like it’s no coincidence that this year, Nigeria’s Independence Day falls on a Monday – the start of a new week. I had this epiphany this morning, and guys, I just have to share.

As Nigerian millennial women, there is a tendency for many of us to let cultural perceptions of who we should be rob us of our individuality, thereby stifling our personal growth. Often times, this is something we do unconsciously. We aim to please our family and take actions that are “culturally correct” in their eyes, at the expense of our own personal freedom. We try so hard to please our bosses at work as we strive to climb the career ladder, and lose our sense of self worth when we fall short. We struggle to fit into society’s ideals of what beauty should be and deny our individual uniqueness in the process.

But when does it all end? When do we put the wants and needs of others aside and start acting in our own best interest in all areas of our lives? I say it starts NOW. Ladies, as we celebrate Independence Day, let us begin to think about ways in which we can each regain our personal independence and start putting ourselves first. I’m not talking about being selfish here. I’m talking about taking responsibility for our own happiness and peace of mind.

For instance, if you are over the age of 30 and feeling pressure from your family to get married “on time” when you’re just not ready? It’s time to put your foot down, and do what makes YOU happy. Don’t allow anyone to play God in your life.

Society has made us equate career success with having a fulfilled life. But what is the value of career milestones at the expense of progress in other areas of our lives? Health, wellness, relationships, etc. See, if you drop dead today, your boss will mourn your absence for like maybe two weeks, and then start looking for someone else to fill your position. And that’s who you’ve been killing yourself for?

New moms, you know you are overwhelmed, but you are ashamed to admit that you need help. Because perhaps someone somewhere has told you that having a nanny means that you are somehow an inadequate mom. Nonsense. Get the help you need!

There are so many instances I could give, but you get the idea.

I’ve decided that today is my independence day. The first day of the start of a new beginning. Rising above limitations placed on me as an African millennial woman. I am more fiercely determined than ever to fulfill the purpose God called me to this earth for, and I refuse to conform to the world’s expectations of who I should be.

Who else is with me?