Time waits for no one, you have to decide your future now.

I just had this epiphany and had to share with you guys. Here are 5 important things you should know in your 20s:

Know yourself
You might ask me, what’s there to know about myself – right? Well my dear, I’m still getting to know myself, it is a gradual process. Know who you are. What you stand for, your values, your temperament, your hobbies, and skills, then define who YOU are. 

It’s important to know who you are, and clearly articulate that to yourself, and stand proudly and confident in your individuality. If you do not do this, then chances are, you will let the world define who you are, which could lead to self-esteem issues.

If I give you a piece of paper, for instance, to write in one sentence about yourself, what would you write? Who would you say you are? Know yourself! 

Learn a skill
Don’t limit yourself to your formal education. Learn a skill and become a master at it. Practice makes perfect. Once you are confident in said skill, then find ways to monetize it. Secure that bag girl!

Avoid meaningless relationships
Any relationship that will not add value to your life, just cut it off. Whether it’s romantic relationships, friendships, or certain overly toxic family members. Don’t waste your precious time on people who have clearly shown that they are bound to sabotage your future in one way or another. 

Don’t be a people pleaser
No matter how nice you are, there will always be people who will not like you, and that is not your business. If you want to grow in life, you can’t continue to please everybody. 

Stay true to yourself
It’s okay to admire others but let it end there, don’t start imitating their lifestyle or wanting to be like them. Every woman is unique in her own way. Going back to my first point: Know yourself! List all the good things you like about yourself and start loving them.

Staying true to oneself can be difficult especially as most women in this era try so hard to follow the trend and impress the world. But take this from me:

• You won’t die if your make up is not on fleek.

• You can slay without wearing designers outfits.

• Your hair will still look beautiful whether it’s natural or relaxed

• If you don’t have the latest phone, it doesn’t make you less of a human being

Staying true to yourself means accepting who you are, living within your means and becoming the person version of yourself.

Can I get an Amen?

Photo Credit: thetruemetalmaniac

According to News Agency of Nigeria (NAN), Buhari defeated the People’s Democratic Party (PDP) presidential candidate, Atiku Abubakar, and other presidential candidates with over 15,191,847 votes, winning in 19 of the states.

In my opinion, Nigeria has a male-dominated society where women are subordinate, and not valued the way they ought to be. Whether rich or poor, urban or rural, educated or un-educated, we all still face the same issues. Here are some of the areas that give me cause for concern regarding this:

Marriage
Although, marriage is a highly valued institution in the country, the onus of making a marriage successful  seems to fall on women alone. Nigerian women sacrifice so much to keep the sanctity of marriage in order to avoid rebuke and dishonor, and the disgrace of divorce. This pressure is especially intense with millennial brides, as they do not want to bring shame to their families as newlyweds. Last I checked, marriage was a union between two people. So why don’t we have the same expectations for the husbands? Why does all the burden of making a marriage succesful tend to fall on the wife?

Housing
Getting an apartment as a single woman is a nightmare. Many landlords don’t want to rent out their apartment because they feel that a single female living alone is most likely a prostitute, or may owe rent because it is assumed that they aren’t financially secure.

Career
After a certain age as a woman, it is incredibly difficult to find a decent job, as it is assumed that the older you are, the more likely you are to get married, get pregnant, have a child, and have less time to dedicate to your job. So if you are a millennial woman in your early to mid 30s you’ve got tough luck in the job market! Hmmmph.

Domestic Violence
Is it just me or are the reports of domestic violence seemingly rising these days? There are so many stories of domestic violence. Increasingly, these have led to the death of the victims. And in most cases, these are actually moms or wives.

***

God bless Nigeria! I love my country. But the way we treat our women needs to change! Only then can we truly celebrate independence – independence from sexism and misogyny.

There’s no doubt that it’s a significant day in the lives of everyone in the country. But more so, I’d like to reflect on the symbolism of what the concept of independence means to me.

There is something especially unique about the beginning of this particular new month. I feel like it’s no coincidence that this year, Nigeria’s Independence Day falls on a Monday – the start of a new week. I had this epiphany this morning, and guys, I just have to share.

As Nigerian millennial women, there is a tendency for many of us to let cultural perceptions of who we should be rob us of our individuality, thereby stifling our personal growth. Often times, this is something we do unconsciously. We aim to please our family and take actions that are “culturally correct” in their eyes, at the expense of our own personal freedom. We try so hard to please our bosses at work as we strive to climb the career ladder, and lose our sense of self worth when we fall short. We struggle to fit into society’s ideals of what beauty should be and deny our individual uniqueness in the process.

But when does it all end? When do we put the wants and needs of others aside and start acting in our own best interest in all areas of our lives? I say it starts NOW. Ladies, as we celebrate Independence Day, let us begin to think about ways in which we can each regain our personal independence and start putting ourselves first. I’m not talking about being selfish here. I’m talking about taking responsibility for our own happiness and peace of mind.

For instance, if you are over the age of 30 and feeling pressure from your family to get married “on time” when you’re just not ready? It’s time to put your foot down, and do what makes YOU happy. Don’t allow anyone to play God in your life.

Society has made us equate career success with having a fulfilled life. But what is the value of career milestones at the expense of progress in other areas of our lives? Health, wellness, relationships, etc. See, if you drop dead today, your boss will mourn your absence for like maybe two weeks, and then start looking for someone else to fill your position. And that’s who you’ve been killing yourself for?

New moms, you know you are overwhelmed, but you are ashamed to admit that you need help. Because perhaps someone somewhere has told you that having a nanny means that you are somehow an inadequate mom. Nonsense. Get the help you need!

There are so many instances I could give, but you get the idea.

I’ve decided that today is my independence day. The first day of the start of a new beginning. Rising above limitations placed on me as an African millennial woman. I am more fiercely determined than ever to fulfill the purpose God called me to this earth for, and I refuse to conform to the world’s expectations of who I should be.

Who else is with me?

Many are fleeing the country to seek greener pastures in the Western world.

But Nigerian-American millennial, Didi Ajayi, actually did the opposite – she gave up a comfortable life in the United States to move back to Nigeria.

I recently caught up with her for a quick chat about her journey, and boy did she drop some gems! We all could learn a thing or two from her willingness to embrace the unknown to find a unique path for herself.

 Read and be inspired.

BACKGROUND

Tell us about yourself

My name is Didi. By profession, I’m a lawyer.

I attended the University of Georgia where I got a degree in Psychology, and went on to Law school, and I got my JD.  And then I moved back to Nigeria and went to Nigerian Law school and became a barrister at Law after doing the bar exam here. Then I started practicing.

I worked at a law firm here in Nigeria, but recently became an entrepreneur – I co-own a legal consulting start-up company. In my spare time I like to blog. Before I moved to Nigeria I had a natural hair blog that I was really into. And after I moved back to Nigeria I kinda wanted to document my experiences living in Nigeria, so I started a vlog series about this. I wish I knew the things that I know now, before I moved back. Like things I could have avoided or known about how to make my transition easier. I wanted to do the vlog for people in diaspora, who are considering moving back. Showing them what living here is like. Although there are some bad sides, there are lots of good sides, and that’s the reason why I’m still here.

Why did you move back to Nigeria despite having an amazing life in the US?

Although I’m American and grew up in the US, I was actually born in Nigeria.

My dad lives here, and half of my siblings grew up here in Nigeria. When I lived abroad, I used to spend some of my vacation time here in Nigeria.

Every time I visited, I really enjoyed my stay, and I saw that there was potential here even though some people didn’t really this. I would say I moved back because I’m a bit idealistic. Some people usually say I’m a bit too optimistic.

I had always been interested in moving back home. So my dad suggested that while attending Law school in Nigeria, if I was really interested in testing the waters and working here, I could look for internships at law firms and just see how it goes.

As fate would have it, I eventually ended up working at the law firm I interned at. I enjoyed my experience so I thought that since I had worked in the US, there was no reason why I could not do that here.

I think there’s something interesting about working in a developing county where everything hasn’t fully developed. You can actually be a pioneer and make you own stuff here, whereas in the US it’s a lot harder to do so.  Here, there aren’t as many obstacles if you want to establish yourself.  Also, there’s some certain level of comfort just knowing that I have family and people here that I really didn’t have in the US. Even though my mom and my sister are still in America, I decided to move back.

THE MOVE

On challenges experienced when she first moved back

I had so many! I think my moving back experience was kind of different from a lot of people that moved back here, as most were probably doing their NYSC.

In my own case, I moved back and went to law school in Abuja. I had never gone to to boarding school or anything. So being at the law school felt like living on campus for the first time, which was very different. It almost felt like I was going to high school not even college. I felt trapped at some point.

I was so used to having internet. On the first day I came into the country, I used up all my data because everything was running, all my apps etc.  So I had to get used to that.

I was pretty much used to the people in a sense because I was coming home during vacation. But when I started working here,  I didn’t realize that co-workers and people in general, would could care so much about details about your personal life. This took some getting used to, as I was accustomed to being a lot more private about intimate details about my life. It was a norm for me to keep my personal life very separate from my work life.

Those were the things that I think were the biggest things I had to get used to when I came back.

Making friends

I moved back in my late 20’s. I think that when you get older you are kind of like at this place in your life where you know what you want, and the kind of friends you need in your life. So making friends just becomes a lot harder and a lot of people have their own social circles so it was hard to integrate people’s social circles.

When I was going back to school, I found out that a lot of people were younger than me. People are taking that step earlier in Nigeria, unlike in the US. I worked before I went to the Law school in the US. So making friends was a bit of a challenge.

I think growing up in the US, the culture is a bit more open. You have more people opening up, sharing and talking. Just generally being ourselves. This is kind of the reverse in Nigeria – which kind of  felt weird. I find out that as women here in Nigeria, we have to be a bit more guarded and less open. When I first encountered this, I didn’t like that feeling. But luckily I found friends who I could be myself with. It took a lot of time but I eventually figured it out.

On meeting the love of her life

In terms of dating, it’s funny because I met my husband basically the first day at school. So I didn’t really do much of dating.

I feel like my mom and aunties use me as an example to their friend’s daughters. They are like “do what DIDI did, move back, you will find your husband” lol.

I don’t know if it was luck or God because I totally didn’t see this coming.

The highest point of moving back

Definitely, meeting my husband was my highest point of moving back, I definitely would have never met him without moving back because he has actually never been to the US. He grew up in the UK.

I think that moving back made me discover certain aspects of my character – this is like the most adventurous thing I have ever done. It made me step out of my comfort zone in a way I was never capable of. I was always that type of person that when there’s a road map set, I follow the road map. E.g: Go to college, go to graduate school, work, get a job… and that would have been my story till the end of my life.

When I applied to Law school, I had no vision of the future. I just knew that I wanted to do this and see where it goes. My move back showed me that I am adaptable and that sometimes, you do have to step out. And sometimes a risk is worth it in order to get a bigger reward.

Also, it challenged me to have to step out in order to make major changes. It convinced me that no matter what the situation may be, I do have the capacity to make it, and even thrive.

ADAPTING

On getting used to Nigerian currency

I had to first of all, stop thinking in dollars. I used to convert everything into Naira, thinking everything was cheap. But the reality was that I wasn’t earning money in dollars, especially when the exchange rate changed.

I had just started working and the salary just wasn’t adding up to what I was earning in the US. In the beginning of 2017, I had to try to figure things out. I had to be a lot more economical and I realized that this was why everyone seemed to have a side hustle.

I realize that if you are doing only one thing, it’s kind of difficult to survive –  and not only just surviving, but being able to afford some luxuries in life.

I feel like that’s why people have other avenues of income streams, especially if you are employed by someone else. It made me hustle more.

The currency difference made me be more economical in my purchasing choices.

Driving

I was really scared when I first started driving in Lagos. In Abuja, it was quite easier because the road was wider, but Lagos was scary. So what my parents did was to get our gate man to teach me how to drive from home to work and he taught me different routes. He drove like a Danfo driver so the driving was a bit aggressive, but he also gave me different safety tips.  The next week, I drove by myself, and I was literally holding my breath because I was really wondering what I would do if something bad happened. But soon, I adapted just fine.

LEISURE

How she lets her hair down
I feel like Lagosians, out of all Nigerians like to have variety I n terms of having places to go, what to do, things to do.  What I do for fun depends on my circle. Sometimes we go clubbing. I am kind of nerdy so I may just visit the museum,  but I haven’t found a friend who would want to go, so I just go there myself.

I love nature, I feel like I have gone to the Lekki conservation center too many times. I love travelling – I’m from Awka Ibom state originally, so I will just go there or go to Port Harcourt in my spare time.

I like writing, reading and watching movies.  My husband likes to play football so I will go and watch him play sometimes. I also like to do fun fitness classes and activities

ENTREPRENEURSHIP

On what advice she would give young women who want to own their own businesses

I am still at the inception stage of my business, so I try to have extra money saved up so that I can withstand not having money for a long time.

I have a partner so we work as a team. It is challenging when you first start out for sure.  Even if you are working, you keep asking yourself, “where am I gonna get the time and the money to grow this business and also get clientele?”

My advice would be for you to just take on what you can handle and try to do it to the best of your ability. Do your works so well that people would be so impressed by the the standard and quality of your work , that they will keep coming back to you.

You also need to network. You have to get to know people and show them what you are capable of. Sometimes it may take offering services for free or discounted rates so that they can know who you are and see what you can offer, and then you can go from there.

CULTURE

Her thoughts on being a Black, African woman in Nigeria Vs. in America

Being a Nigerian woman in the US, I was relating with more White people, so I didn’t necessarily have an African experience – I had more of a Black American experience.

I would say that one of the major differences is that in the US, no one was really asking me about my personal life except my parents.  There wasn’t that much pressure socially.  But when I moved to Nigeria, there was a huge difference. I found that people just wanted to pry into your personal life, and I’m like “why are we having these conversations? Why am I being treated differently when I am single compared to when I’m married?”

When I got married, I was getting questions like “When are you having a child?”  It was very weird that people that are not close to you are coming to you to ask such a question.

Certain words and actions people expressed when I first moved back to Nigeria, made me feel like women were not valued in the society.

Advice on moving back to Nigeria

1. Do your research, we are fortunate to have Internet access and you have Google. Also, reach out to people who have moved back. Visit before moving back.
2. Your mindset would determine how this goes for you. In addition to having a positive outlook, you also have to be quite open to possibilities.
3. Have fun. Try and enjoy it. Meet and mingle with people you probably normally wouldn’t interact with. Live in the moment.

Connect with Didi on social media (@afrocurlitan):

Youtube

Twitter

Instagram

In a scene from a Yoruba movie titled Ko S’orogun – No Rival (Produced in 2002, directed by Wemimo Olu Paul) a woman’s financial and sexual patron dies unexpectedly (well, the Grim Reaper doesn’t exactly go around giving a notice of arrival). This woman realizes that she is unable to pay her rent without her patron. The Property Caretaker comes in and asks her to vacate the property with immediate effect. Stranded and out of options for keeping her accommodation, she decides to exchange the promise of sexual favours for the right to room and board. She casually touches the Caretaker’s shoulder and informs him that her previous rejection of his sexual advances has now been rendered null and void. She states categorically that she is now down for whatever.

Caretaker, disbelieving, hesitates; however, this is a woman with a mission. She begins to take off  his clothes. She takes off his hat, caresses his face, and places a light kiss on his cheek. The man is tickled beyond measure now, his excitement is palpable. He is vibrating with anticipation, but he remembers he has collected rent from a replacement tenant. He asks the woman for her new address. He was there to evict her; where were they going to continue this new budding relationship offer that she had just placed on the table? The woman shrugs and states that if she moves out, there’s no chance Caretaker will get the nooky. Caretaker muses out loud that he hasn’t, after all, issued a receipt to the new tenant. He reckons, it’s fair. No harm done… yet.

The woman continues the process of undressing him. Buba is swiftly taken off, and the pants follow quickly; this woman is deft in the art of unclothing. She undos two of her own shirt buttons, to give the Caretaker some form of assurance that she is all in. Then, she unzips her pants, and with one hand on her hip, she sizes the Caretaker up and asks him what he is trying to do. Are you trying to rape me? She asks, gesticulating at his partially undressed state. If you’re not trying to rape me, why are you undressed? The Caretaker’s confusion is unmistaken. But you initiated this, he says. Me? When? Her denial goes on for a while. At some point she starts screaming for neighbours to help her; her claims that the Caretaker is trying to rape her bounces off the walls, and he tries to muffle her screams with his hand. What does she want in return for keeping quiet? Well, if you’ve read it thus far, I’m sure you can guess… Free accommodation.

Data on rape and sexual assault, indicates that 1% -8% of rape allegations are false. According to a UK Home Office report, 4% of the cases of sexual violence reported to the police are suspected to be false. Studies around Europe and the US indicated 2% -6% of allegations are false. At the time of writing, I was unable to get conclusive data on the the rate of false accusations of rape in Nigeria. However, infinitesimal the general number seems to be, there is no denying that these numbers represent people. These people, deserve to be heard and recognised. They are not just statistics; they are people, living and breathing. They are people who have to deal with the consequence of lies.

Where an allegation of rape is found to be false, there is no criminal defence available to the wrongly accused individual; said innocent person is only able to bring a civil action against the accuser to claim for damages.

It is difficult to imagine what a person goes through, when their image is tarnished, based on a false accusation. The burden of proving that they in fact obtained consent, or are innocent is on them. In addition, they have to try to understand the intent of the accuser.

Why would anyone lie that they were raped or sexually assaulted when they were not? Does anyone do it for fun? Is it simply for malicious intent? Or like in the case of the character in the movie, as blackmail in exchange for financial gain? Has anybody ever gotten brand endorsements or social influencer status from being a rape victim? Why are you falsely accusing people of raping you? Why are you going around telling lies?

Do false accusers understand the damage they do to actual victims of rape? For every lie that is told about sexual violence, there’s 99% of women who get their true stories invalidated, because there’s a 1% chance that someone is telling a lie.

What you believe is a simple lie, or a quiet fib, to get out of paying your bills, or to assuage your hurting heart is core factor in why real victims do not speak out.

In a country like Nigeria where women are not taken seriously when they speak out about rape, you constantly hear stories of “so many lives being destroyed by false allegations”. The “so many lives” form 1% -6% of rape allegations. Men lie; women lie, but numbers do not. The work to reduce and eliminate rape in Nigeria is constantly watered down by the negative effect of these lies, and that is why they need to stop.

If you have an issue with someone, resorting to accusing them of raping you is certainly not the way to go. It is assumed that you know this, but simply do not care. However, I’d like to appeal to whatever bit of humanity is left within you, to cease and desist from this approach to get payback for whatever slight or wrong you may feel.

In countries where there’s accurate data collection and a valid reporting system, there are effects to being on the sexual offenders list; so if a person is found guilty of rape, they are automatically flagged as a sexual offender, thus limiting (if not eliminating) the possibility of the crime being committed again. However, in Nigeria, the worst that can happen to a person who is accused of rape is loss of social capital. Even then, said men still manage to find women who will defend them, and ride for them till kingdom come. What’s the worst that will happen to someone that you falsely accuse of rape? What? Do you think they will be ostracised? No! Because we have short term memories and we’re largely forgiving of crime and criminals.

Think about it! This is Nigeria; it is a patriarchal and deeply misogynistic country. Will the person get fired? Maybe, maybe not. Will someone re-hire them? Chances are that they will. There’s no actively updated sexual offenders list (In 2014, Babatunde Fashola as Governor of Lagos State, signed an executive order to establish a sexual offender’s list.) The person you’ve accused wrongly is not going to become a social pariah. Why are you, then lying? If you’re lying because someone broke your heart, hurt your feelings or stole your cat, what do you stand to gain?

These false accusations have a deeper and more lasting impact on actual victims of sexual violence. We live in a society where the default position is to assume the victim is lying, and this is further perpetuated by liars in the 1% margin. It makes no logical sense, when there’s a preponderance of victims, which very obviously tip the scale. However, misogyny reigns supreme. The numbers say one thing, but the society chooses to wield the sword of the less than 10% of people who have been wrongly accused.

Nigeria has a prevalent rape culture. We have a long way to go in terms of reporting, victim support, prosecution and even rehabilitation. Don’t add to our problems by lying. Rape victims don’t need one more person telling flimsy lies about sexual violence.

We do not need one more shallow person adding to the 1% -10% of false accusations. Stop lying. If you’re old enough to have sexual relations, have sex if you want to have sex. Own your sexuality; own your sexual prowess. Have SEX if you want to have sex. Women, stop being shamed into pretending that you did not want to have sex.

Do whatever you want with your genitals, but don’t lie about rape…EVER!

If you lie for attention or public sympathy, stop it. If you’re tempted to lie about rape just for the heck of it, do not. It’s not fun and games for victims of rape. It is horrible trauma that I won’t wish on my worst enemy.

We’re hoping to disabuse people of the notion that disbelieving a victim is the first course of action, liars and false accusers are not helping the situation. If you need to get someone back for hurting you or wanting to collect their rent, find something else. Please stop using rape or sexual violence as your tool. It’s stupid and insensitive.

Just stop it!

PS
If you are a victim of sexual violence/assault, please report to the nearest police station. Go immediately, do not wash your clothes, or take a shower. Report immediately.

Remember, you are not alone. I stand with you. You are NOT alone.

You may also contact the following places in Lagos:

Mirabel Centre
Stand to End Rape
Women At Risk International Foundation
Human Development Initiatives

However, her excitement was shortlived when she finally moved to New York, as she didn’t book any jobs for an entire year in 2013. In an interview with Mic, she said:

When I first came to New York [in 2013], I didn’t work at all. I came over as a dark-skinned woman, a plus-size woman and I had my head completely shaved. They weren’t quite sure what brands wanted to do with me. For the commercial plus-size industry, they always wanted a girl next door look, but then I remember Lupita [Nyong’o] became famous and she really, really changed how beauty was perceived. I was here for almost a year before I was booked. Then Lupita came and all of a sudden I was booked.

Since then, Philomena has booked many gigs, including being featured in campaigns of big brands including Fabletics, Torrid, Target, and Lane Bryant. She also appeared in a swimsuit ad in the 2016 issue of Sports Illustrated. 

Speaking on reactions to her swimsuit feature in Sports Illustrated, she said, “I got so many messages from young, dark-skinned women letting me know that they were so glad a different face of beauty was being shown in this magazine. They felt like they had been getting relegated to a certain standard of beauty, and I showed them something different.”

In addition to being a model, Philomena is also an inclusivity advocate. She frequently voices her opinions regarding  the need for diversity in the fashion and beauty industries

“I think it’s just that the fashion industry can only accept one thing at a time… It’s like OK, well if we’re going to add plus, then let’s keep it hourglass and white…Everyone needs to realize the responsibility they hold and realize where they can make a difference,” she says.

“It’s on the agent’s side, getting more darker-skinned girls in. A brand will say, ‘We should use a black plus-size model’ but then use one with a Rihanna or Beyoncé skin tone. They don’t pay attention to the tonal differences. It’s recognizing the nuances in the bigger, wider scheme of things. You can’t say you’re inclusive when you only have one plus-size, hourglass white model.”

Derin, who is a popular fashion blogger, recently took to her Instagram page, to share her experience about being a victim of body shaming. The petite beauty noted that despite all the evil comments people make about her size, they will never destroy her self-esteem.

She shared the photo below, along with caption:

Few days ago I posted a picture of myself in this outfit… Such a gorgeous outfit from @imadeduso_ and @sb_artistry also taught me how to highlight my face and I had my @hikkyshair on so believe me that you couldn’t tell me nothing on this day or on any day for that matter . Guess I wasn’t the only one that thought the outfit was cute because a lot of pages reposted which brings me to this story. Asides from everyone loving it, there were so many people who had comments regarding my size, from how skinny I am, to my head being the size of a football pitch LOL, to me being anorexic, having suicide tendencies and maybe not knowing how to carry out the suicide, it was so awful that @bellanaijaweddings had to turn of their comments.. Same day I read all this I had to go to the hospital to run some tests I had been avoiding but I didn’t have a choice as I knew something was wrong with me lately.

Found out that something is wrong and I have a growth inside me, but while waiting for the results to get printed I started thinking that what if I wasnt such a confident person or what if I actually wanted to gain weight but was having issues putting some on, what if I was depressed and as I got bullied, and all these notifications of comments came in and I read all the hateful body shaming comments and also found out about the growth within few hours of each other how would I have handled it all?

But if you actually know me you would know I am totally in love with my body, I cringe when it is even suggested that I am putting on weight, if you don’t know me personally I know you can tell from my pictures and stories how much of a happy person I am and thankfully none of those comments got or will ever get to me, but imagine I was fragile?

Bottom line is let’s all do better, I know I am also guilty sometimes of my thoughts and thinking how different someone would look if they just lost x amount of weight, well except you are my friend and I have opened my mouth to tease you that you are fat or your tummy is big ( I get to do that cause you are my friend sorry Bolanle LOL)

OH yeah this is another picture of my big head in my cute outfit with my ‘Anorexic’ body

***

We totally agree with her. We all definitely need to do better! Not just in the way we talk about other people, but in the ways we talk to ourselves. Negative self-talk is just as bad, if not more worse than making depreciating comments about others.

Photo Credit: @derinfromisaleeko

Fashion entrepreneur and blogger, Toyosi Gregory-Jonah, shares 5 reasons why she relaxed her natural hair after being a naturalista for five years prior.

What do you think about her perspective?