Here’s where I’ve landed (for now): I still believe in “the one”, but not the way movies write it. I think “the one” is the person you can build oneness with: someone whose values align with yours, who chooses you back, and with whom you can grow through the regular, non-cinematic parts of life. Not a magical, perfect fit, but a purposeful, faithful fit.

From a Christian angle, this helped me breathe: God already knows who I’ll end up with, He’s all-knowing. That doesn’t mean there’s only one possible person roaming the earth with my name on their forehead. It means that within His will, when two people choose each other and choose covenant, God can bless that union and make it “the one.” In other words, my soulmate isn’t just found; they’re also formed—through daily yeses, forgiveness, shared purpose, and commitment.

That also means I don’t have to live scared that I’ll “miss” God’s plan like a bus I didn’t run fast enough to catch. If I take a wrong turn, He knows the route better than I do. He can reroute. He can redeem. He’s not fragile, and neither is His ability to write a good story with less-than-perfect humans.

Do I still love the romance of believing there’s someone out there who gets me in a way no one else does? Absolutely. But I’m learning to test that feeling with real questions:
— Do we want the same kind of life, not just the same kind of wedding?
— Can we disagree without destroying each other?
— Do we both tell the truth, keep promises, and come back to the table when it’s hard?
— Do our faith, character, and rhythms of life support the love we say we want?

Because chemistry will start a fire, but character keeps the house warm.

And what about the hard realities—breakups, divorces, years of singleness? This is where my old idea of soulmates felt too brittle. Life is complicated. People change. Hearts heal. Sometimes the person you thought was “it” was only your person for a season. That doesn’t make your story a failure; it means you’re human. And when love does show up, it won’t feel like you missed it; it will feel like it was always meant to arrive when it did.

So are soulmates real? I think so, just not as destiny you might fumble, but as destiny you build. For me, a soulmate is the person I choose within God’s will, who chooses me back, again and again. It’s discovery and decision. It’s prayer, wisdom, laughter, repentance, and showing up in the ordinary Tuesdays.

Maybe the question isn’t “Is there only one person for me?”
Maybe it’s “Who can I become one with—before God and with His help?”

That’s the love I believe in: not fragile, not fatalistic—just faithful.

The post Are Soulmates Real or Do I Just Like the Idea of Them? appeared first on Queen moremi.

Some say marrying for money is shallow. But is wanting security shallow? Is wanting to know you won’t have to stress over every bill a bad thing? Because the truth is, financial peace of mind can feel like a love language on its own.

Still, here’s where it gets tricky. Money can open doors, yes, but it can’t hold a conversation with you at midnight when life feels heavy. It won’t celebrate your wins with genuine joy, or choose kindness when things get rough. If all you have is money, the relationship can start to feel like a business transaction dressed up as romance.

And if all you have is love with no stability, the pressure can chip away at even the strongest bond. Constant financial fights and resentment can make something sweet turn sour.

So maybe it’s not about whether you can marry for money. It’s about what you’re willing to sacrifice if money is the only thing holding you there. Because money can build a house, but it can’t build a home. Love can make your heart race, but it can’t pay the bills. Both matter, but in different ways and the balance is what makes the difference.

The truth is, no one has the “perfect” answer. For some, financial security will always outweigh romance. For others, love is the only currency that counts. What matters is being honest about what you value most, and choosing a partner whose vision of “enough” matches yours. That’s the real secret, not money alone, not love alone, but alignment.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not about choosing between love or money. It’s about being honest with yourself about what kind of life you want to build and who you trust to build it with.

The post Can I Marry for Money? Let’s Talk Love and Finances appeared first on Queen moremi.

The wedding took place in Malibu, California, surrounded by breathtaking ocean views and an intimate gathering of family and friends. It wasn’t just about romance; it was a deeply spiritual celebration centred on prayer, worship, and gratitude to the God who brought them together.

Maria looked radiant in a custom strapless gown with a flowing train, while DeVon kept it sharp and classic in a tailored black tuxedo. The ceremony was filled with heartfelt vows, powerful declarations of faith, and moments that made it clear this union was more than love.

In a joint post on Instagram, the couple shared, “God writes the best love stories.” Their joy was evident in every picture, from their emotional first look to their beaming smiles as they walked back up the aisle, hand in hand.

For DeVon, who has been open about waiting on God’s timing, and for Maria, whose faith shines through her work and presence, this wedding wasn’t just the start of a marriage; it was the continuation of a shared calling.

Congratulations to the Franklins! May your journey together be filled with grace, purpose, and endless love.

The post DeVon Franklin & Maria Castillo Say “I Do” in a God-Centered Celebration appeared first on Queen moremi.

So I assumed saying yes would become automatic, expected. Even if you’re tired. Even if you’re not in the mood. Even if your head and heart aren’t in the same place. Because that’s what a good wife does, right?

But the more I think about it, the more I realize that idea doesn’t leave room for your humanity. Or your emotions. Or your safety. And it definitely doesn’t sound like love.

Yes, marriage is about giving. About serving. About showing up for each other. But that doesn’t erase the need for consent. Marriage doesn’t cancel boundaries — it invites a more sacred version of them. The kind where you choose each other again and again, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually too.

Consent in marriage isn’t just about “yes” or “no.” It’s about how and why you’re saying it. It’s not about withholding, but it’s also not about ignoring what you’re feeling. It’s okay to say: “I’m not in the right headspace right now, but can we talk about it?” or “I’m just tired right now.” That’s not rejection. That’s honesty. And healthy intimacy is built on that.

And husbands? This is for you, too. Consent isn’t just a “women’s thing.” It’s not just about asking, it’s about caring. Really caring. About what your wife needs, how she feels, and if she feels emotionally safe enough to show up.

No one’s saying turn your marriage into a permission slip. This isn’t about ticking boxes. It’s about staying tender, keeping intimacy mutual, and never letting expectations replace real connection.

Because the goal isn’t just sex, it’s oneness and that only thrives in places where both people feel seen, heard, and honored.

So yeah — consent still matters. Even in marriage. Especially in marriage.

The post Is Consent Still Necessary When You’re Married? appeared first on Queen moremi.

This isn’t about shame. At all. Many people reading this may come from homes marked by divorce, or have been through it themselves. This isn’t a call-out. It’s a call-in. A conversation. Because if we’re going to talk about love, purpose, and kingdom living, we have to talk about how marriage fits into that and why so many of them are falling apart.

The real problem isn’t divorce, it’s everything we ignore on the way there. The problem starts way earlier. It’s in skipping red flags because we’re tired of being single. It’s in getting caught up in vibes, aesthetics, or pressure instead of purpose and character. It’s in thinking “I’ll fix him later” or “I’ll change once we’re married.” It’s in choosing someone we can post instead of someone we can pray with.

We talk so much about the wedding—what we’ll wear, what the hashtag will be, who’ll make the guest list—but not enough about the weight of what comes after the DJ packs up and the lace is folded away. Do you even like the person you’re marrying? Do they know God? Do they submit to God? Do you feel safe with their leadership, with their wounds, with their silence?

Again, this isn’t to say divorce is never justified. Abuse, infidelity, manipulation—these are real, heavy things. But outside of those, what we’re seeing more and more is people realizing, after marriage, what should have been addressed before it.

So what’s the answer? Not “just stay and endure.” The solution is deeper preparation. More honesty. Real conversations. Therapy. Premarital counseling that isn’t just ticking boxes. Asking hard questions like: “Can I grow with this person?” “Do we resolve conflict in a healthy way?” “Do I feel peace when I pray about them, or pressure?”

And if you’re already in the marriage and quietly wondering if it’s too late, breathe. This is for you, too. Sometimes the healing starts inside the covenant. Maybe what you need right now isn’t an exit, but a reset. A return to honesty. To counsel. To prayer. To unlearn what wasn’t healthy and relearn each other in a new light. It takes two, yes but if even one person starts leaning into the work, asking hard questions, and choosing growth, the atmosphere begins to shift. Don’t underestimate the power of humility, of asking for help, or of letting God reframe what you thought was finished.

We need to normalize waiting. Slowing down. Calling off engagements when the Holy Spirit says “no,” even if the wedding is six weeks away. We need to talk more about becoming the right person before obsessing over finding one. Because sometimes, it’s not that God hasn’t sent someone, it’s that we wouldn’t know how to steward the relationship if He did. Healing your wounds, breaking unhealthy patterns, learning how to communicate, how to apologize, how to be led, how to listen—these are the quiet, unglamorous things that prepare you for the loud beauty of love that lasts. It’s not just about praying for a good marriage. It’s about becoming someone who can carry one.

Because here’s the thing: marriage is beautiful. It’s holy. It’s worth desiring. But it’s also weighty. And we can’t keep pretending that “just winging it” is working. It’s not.

Let’s do it differently.

The post Can We Talk About How Normal Divorce Has Become? appeared first on Queen moremi.

As we celebrate International Women’s Day today, her story reminds us that “balance for better” is more than just a catch phrase. Damola reminds us that when we balance our faith in God with our human expectations, a beautiful thing happens – God takes the wheel and gives our situation a total makeover, and in the end, we are better for it.

When and how did you first gain an awareness about God?
I was born into a Christian home so I have always been aware of God. As a child, I had the sort of relationship that is expected of a child – I loved Bible club, the Christian videos etc.

My teenage years were a bit of a blur as I suffered a loss that disconnected me from the reality of God. So, I always knew God was there, but if we were going to have a personal relationship, He was going to have to catch my attention big time – I wanted my burning bush experience!

In 2011, I was to undergo a surgical procedure and I said to God, now is your time to show me who you are. I was radical about it, I didn’t know how He was going to do it , but I wasn’t having any surgery. A few months down the line, I travelled to the UK to have the procedeure. Two days before the scheduled surgery date, I had a routine consultation with the doctor where he talked me through the procedure and any questions I had ( my main concern was anaesthesia – what if I didn’t wake up!). Anyway, after the consultation, the Doctor looked at me and said he didn’t think undergoing the procedure was necessary any longer and cancelled. He cancelled the scheduled surgery!

That day was it for me. I was, and still am, in awe of a God that was willing to come down to meet me right where I am. A God that will do whatever it takes to prove Himself to you.

How has your journey with God been since then?
Have you ever heard the phrase “walk with Jesus and you will never walk alone”? This is what it has been for me. It hasn’t been the easiest or smoothest of rides and there have definitely been times that have caused to momentarily question my faith. But as I have continue to strive to grow as a Christian, God has consistently shown Himself to be an amazing father and friend – I have found joy in the midst of pain, stumbled on love in some very dark places and gained the confidence to be myself.

As a Nigerian millennial woman, were you ever influenced by societal pressure to get married by a certain age?
In my teenage years, I had it all worked out – get married at 24 and have 4 kids by 30. This was just what I assumed the natural progression of life was. This didn’t happen. I wasn’t even married by my 30^th birthday.  At about 25/26 most of my friends were getting married and having babies, there was definitely some pressure there but it wasn’t something I let influence me.

You recently got married, congrats! How’s newlywed life treating you?
Thank you! It has been a great journey so far. As I always say “we are learning everyday”

How did you meet your husband?
We met at Church. We were both on the launch team for a youth church and leadership team after inception. One day, he asked me to coffee, I said “sure,” we went to the café… the rest as they say, is history!

In what ways did your faith in God play a role in picking your spouse?
Honestly, I did not always use faith as a guide when choosing the relationships I got into earlier. So, I always say my marital destiny was special to God’s heart because He was constantly uprooting me from the wrong relationships – one day I’m in a relationship, the next it is over. I just knew in my heart that God wanted the best for me and that my husband must be a physical representation of God’s love for me. So I was always glad for His interventions!

One day, I was having a heartfelt sincere tête-à-tête with God about why I seemed to not be making the right decisions about my relationships. And God said to me clearly, that his desire for me was a relationship where we will both complement each other’s ministries –  in God’s actual words “someone who you will do ministry together”. I remember laughing out loud and saying to God, as if the pool of eligible men isn’t small enough, you are adding ministry into it.

From that moment, it became more important to me to be with a man that was not only God fearing (because we all say we are) but someone who had a genuine heart for God, that you could see from his faith, ministry and worship.

You were once engaged years ago but that relationship did not lead to marriage. Can you tell us more about that?
It just didn’t. Marriage has never been the be all or end all for me. We were not right for each other and did not see the future that I wanted with him.

How did you cope in the aftermath of that relationship?
I was actually okay with. During our engagement, I was often filled with fear and apprehension because I knew in my heart that getting married to him was not the right decision for me. So when we did break up I actually felt relieved more than heart broken. Plus, my formula is give yourself a “crying period – and then move on.

How did you find the will and courage to give love a second chance?
I always said that I will never let one person or experience rob me of a lifetime of happiness. I think hidden in me somewhere was a fairy-tale I wasn’t willing to let go of.

In what ways have you evolved as a result of these experiences, and what valuable lessons do you feel you have learned?
The one key thing I have learnt is to be intentional about relationships. Be very clear, mature and reasonable on what it is you want from a partner. Don’t just see as things go, don’t ignore red flags and don’t settle! This applies to all areas of life – be intentional!

What advice would you give to any millennial woman who may be in a relationship but is unsure if their partner is husband material?
What is “husband material” Well, according to whatever your definition is, if you there are things that are making you unsure about a man, leave. Ladies please, we are not talking about petty things but things that you know you cannot come to accept or live with. No one changes in marriage, marriage actually amplifies everything – the good, bad and ugly!

What are some practical ways you would advise newlyweds to involve God in their marriage?

• Let the Bible be your reference point for everything. For me, I have chosen a verse to guide my actions and thoughts. Proverbs 14:1 – The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.
• Pray together, be it the simplest of prayers.
• Have Godly mentors. People that will guide you truthfully and not fail to admonish you when you are wrong.

The post A Healing Miracle, Finding an Amazing Husband & Evolving in Christ: Oyinda Sanwoolu Shares Testimonies of God’s Love appeared first on Queen moremi.

People online are speculating that this statement was made in reaction to the current marital crisis rocking celebrity couple – Osas and Gbenro Ajibade’s marriage.

You may recall that Gbenro put his wife Osas on blast via Instagram over parenting differences concerning their daughter, Azariah.

Following the outburst, Shade Ladipo wrote:

“#MondayMusings #MyFellowHumans…Usually I do a video but I decided to save you from my ugly mug today
My Musings is about Marrying Up or Marrying Down
While I will focus on Marrying down, in my opinion Marrying Up also has its huge challenges
I’m pained when I see amazing, hardworking and determined women try to be put down by Society, Culture and then by Family
Family in this case is your spouse
Pls do not put yourself under any undue pressure to get married and then end up with a loser who will be threatened every time you breathe
Your calling is great and the man you marry must be able to take it and run with it
You need a man who understands that he must be your champion on and off the field
A man who is ready to be in the shadows so you can shine
Most women are ready to do this for their men so My dear pls don’t for 1 second think you don’t deserve such
Also pls let me debunk the lies ….
The man who will love you and worship you is waiting for you, don’t allow anyone fool you into believing that your Age or Stage will reduce those chances
Cock & Bull
Your chances are as high as YOU want them
Your self confidence and Self love will attract exactly the kind of man you deserve
There is no Marriage O’Clock and if pikin is your worry then Freeze your eggs or Adopt
Your happiness and Peace should always be Number 1
Don’t settle for anything less
Don’t Marry Down
Don’t Marry Up
Marry your Partner
Someone who sees you
Someone who accepts you
Someone who wants you to do better than him
Someone who loves you more than himself
I always felt She was Marrying Down and from that illiterate rant, I was right
#YouAreAmazingAndAwesome
#DontLetAnyoneTellYouOtherwise
#YouAreBlackGirlMagic#ShadeHasSpoken.”

***

What do you think?

The post “Don’t Marry Down” – Shade Ladipo Advises appeared first on Queen moremi.

Singer, Teyana Taylor, recently released her album titled, K.T.S.E (Keep That Same Energy), which contains a song called 3-way. She was asked about the song in an interview with Big Boy TV, and admitted that she had threesomes with her husband, Iman Shumpert. 

“Ok look. Listen. I ain’t finna sing about nothing that I ain’t been through. Ok. My album is what it is. But what’s crazy, something shocking, you know that 3 Way almost didn’t make the album? It’s crazy. I was like…I was like no!! This stays!

I was like do you know how many “thank you’s” I’m gonna get for this?!! The summer is lit!! The summer of lit!!” Once you break it down and the reason I say this. I’m not saying that this is what you have to do, but I’m what I’m saying is when you make a vow and your married, it ain’t no limits. Period!”

However, the 27 year old also advises that both partners only do what they’re comfortable with. She states that in her opinion, to have a good, healthy marriage, you have to be open-minded and keep things spicy in the bedroom especially if you plan to be with this person forever.

The mother of one who is married to a professional basketball player might be on to something as athletes tend to have a bad record with staying faithful due to their excess wealth and being out on the road often. So, I’m guessing it’s not cheating if you’re doing it with your wife right? Right? Or are we all going mad?

What say you?

The post Threesomes in a Marriage? Teyana Taylor is all For It! appeared first on Queen moremi.

However, when entering into a relationship; many casually sit at the table with no idea what it is they would require from the commitment of the other party, failing to ask the relevant critical questions before delving into such a delicate partnership.

To build a successful relationship, both parties must know pre-relationship, what exactly they need from it.

To assist you, we’ve come up with a few questions that you should have answers to before choosing to commit.

We’ve narrowed it down to 9 questions to guide you:

1. How well do I know Him?
Don’t trust someone until you know them. The knowledge of a person is as deep as having your instincts connecting to theirs well enough that you can pre-empt them in certain situations. You’ll also have an idea what they’re truly capable of. Anyone can pretend to be something they are not. To best know them, study what they’re like in their natural environments e.g around family, friends, the things they say passively and how they treat people that they do not need. Observe, Observe, Observe.

“What kind of family does he/she come from? That was their foundation and upbringing until they left home. No matter how far we travel, those development years left a huge impression on who we are, and who we’re likely to resort back to when we’re older.”

2. Can I trust him with my secrets?
If they share your private conversations with others, walk away or have a serious discussion about that issue. If you don’t take care about this now, chances are you’ll only resent them later.

3. Can I enjoy his company even in the silence? 
If they can’t enjoy the silence with you and you need some form of activity to be ongoing to have a good time with them then it might be evidence that there’s a lot going on inside them and they need the noise for distraction. Or maybe all the bond you have is based on those activities that you both partake in.

4. Will this person change me for the better?

You become the sum total of the people you spend the most time with. You will spend a large quantity of your time with the person you date and then hopefully eventually marry, so this needs to be at the back of your mind when looking to build a relationship with a prospective gentleman.  Remember that you will marry a person you date. So ask this question early.

5. Am I attracted to their heart and character?
Physical attraction is key, however, the heart and character of a person are the very core of what they’re made up of. You need to check that his heart and character are in line with everything you stand for and value. Besides being good to you, is he a good man?

6. Does he/she appreciate me for who I am right now?
If they’re trying to change you, they’re not ready for a relationship. Plain and simple. The most mature, loving people I’ve ever encountered loved me for just who I was. The only time they called me out is when they knew I was knowingly or unknowingly about to hurt myself or others, and they were protecting me.

They might challenge you, which is a very good thing. But that is very different than someone trying to change you. Beware not to confuse these two.

7. How does he/she already treat people they love most?
I don’t mean during holidays or time spent after long periods apart, but every day. This will require spending a lot of time together with their families. If that’s impossible, don’t forget that this side of them, who they truly are, is a side you haven’t been exposed to yet.

I’ve met plenty of people who told me that their partners or spouses completely changed when they were back in the comforts and security of their families.

8. Does he/she strive to place my desires and needs first?
I understand the importance of giving and receiving. But if the person you’re with has the attitude of, “My desires are above yours,” they’re not ready for a relationship. They still have some growing up to do.

I’ve met plenty of people who believe the world revolves around them, rather than embracing the simple truth that we are all part of a universe.

We are a part of the human community within a universe. That universe nor its members are here to grant us our dreams and wishes. Until we realize this, we will live very selfishly and never understand what it will take to nurture and grow healthy relationships.

Clear warning signs: Temper tantrums, outbursts of anger, control issues and their believing you should read their minds to know their wants and desires without having to communicate them to you.

9. Are their hopes and dreams for the future compatible with yours?
Do they want a partnership where both are working in the corporate world or a traditional role where one partner stays home? Do they know where they’d like to settle? How does that tie into your future plans? Because it is also important that your future doesn’t take a back seat should you marry this person. Or else chances are that you will eventually grow to resent them.

Though it’s important to remind ourselves that our desires and interests change as we grow older, it’s still important to discuss these issues.

Are there any more questions you never asked your partner that came back to bite you in the end? Do feel free to share in the comment box below.

The post 9 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Committing to a Relationship appeared first on Queen moremi.

Over the long weekend, this particular topic sparked a debate on Twitter when a young man shared that he had advised his partner to shed her nose ring on a trip to meeting the in-laws for the first time. Twitter was divided with one arm stating that he fell in love with her as she was and she didn’t need to change who she was for his parents, the other wing insisted it was just a nose ring and taking it off was a sign of respect to her in-laws in these parts.

I won’t share my take but I once had a nose ring and my boyfriend at the time insisted I kept it on when I met his parents and they loved me. Yes, they were Nigerian. But, different strokes I guess. What say you?

Watch lifestyle vlogger, Sisi Yemmie‘s take on the issue below:

Photo Credit: YouTube

The post Trending: Sisi Yemmie Weighs in on Lady Who Insisted on Wearing Nose Ring to Meet In-Laws appeared first on Queen moremi.