If you need a little pick-me-up right now, here are some beautiful Bible verses to help brighten up your days:

Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Psalm 46:1-3
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

Romans 8:38-39
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

Photo Credit: Gift Habeshaw | Anna Shvets

Many failed toxic relationships have been excused with the “love is blind phrase. However, what many fail to really realise is that love isn’t abrupt or out of the blue – it is the result of a series of intentional acts.

Think about it. How can you know if you truly love someone when you barely know that person? You may think you know this person — that’s what love does to us — but you don’t. People think they fall in love all the time, but they’re not truly in love.

Falling in love can lead to actually being in love, and being in love can lead to actual loving. And in order for you to love, you need to choose to love. You need to choose to be loving. You need to look at the person you’re with and choose to love that person all over again – even and especially when – it’s not convenient.

The same concept applies to friendships and even familial relationships. We allow ourselves become drawn into toxicity where we are still in control and can choose where we focus our energies. The idea is to lead a healthy life in mind, body and soul. Why then do we allow negativity take up that space? Perhaps it is because we have become accustomed to feeling that it is what we deserve, or we do not love ourselves just yet or we simply are unaware of the fact that we do have a choice.

Instead, we like to mistake love for Chemistry. Chemistry being uncontrollable chemical reactions which occur outside of our control. hydrogen and chlorine will result in hydrochloride and voila! That’s where it ends. Wrong.

Love is not chemistry, it is voluntary. You must choose to do it. It won’t be easy. It’s easier when the person you’re with is right for you, it’s easier when you’re choosing to love those that will be beneficial to your growth and strength.

I hope we make the best decisions regarding where we choose to invest our energies. So many people seem to be in situations that could have been avoided if they had just trusted themselves enough to let go. It is important to value yourself and your well being above all else.

You can choose who you love and you can choose happiness.

Photo Credit: Atlanta Black Star

However, that’s all done now because Molly (her character name on Insecure) bagged herself a man and interestingly enough, he’s also on that journey of abstinence, is Nigerian (his Igbo name is Chinedum) and he has a job (he’s a former NFL player turned ESPN Analyst). Talk about a dunk in the net!

The couple is currently on vacation in Mexico, and they aren’t being shy about making the rest of us jealous on Instagram. From sandy workouts on the beach to the ocean view, to, of course, taking a few relationship goal photos for Instagram (PS: We know we told you not to buy into #couplegoals, we haven’t forgotten but finding someone on the same spiritual journey as you is always worth celebrating. We know how hard it is out here in the streets, let’s celebrate with a sister).

The couple has been dating for a couple of months, although we’re not sure how long, the actress made it instagram official in May.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BjAyZmhHvJ8/?taken-by=yvonneorji

Anyway, let’s get right down to it. Here’s the prayer she says she prayed to find this fine man:

“Dear God,
May he have abs like David
Skin like Sampson
A smile like Joseph
Fingernails like Solomon
Eyebrows like John The Baptist & A heart (and finances) like yours
In Jesus’ Name
Amen”

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bkv0fjbHlhK/?taken-by=yvonneorji

Can I get an Amen somebody?

Photo Credit: Instagram|Yvonne Orji

Singer, Teyana Taylor, recently released her album titled, K.T.S.E (Keep That Same Energy), which contains a song called 3-way. She was asked about the song in an interview with Big Boy TV, and admitted that she had threesomes with her husband, Iman Shumpert. 

“Ok look. Listen. I ain’t finna sing about nothing that I ain’t been through. Ok. My album is what it is. But what’s crazy, something shocking, you know that 3 Way almost didn’t make the album? It’s crazy. I was like…I was like no!! This stays!

I was like do you know how many “thank you’s” I’m gonna get for this?!! The summer is lit!! The summer of lit!!” Once you break it down and the reason I say this. I’m not saying that this is what you have to do, but I’m what I’m saying is when you make a vow and your married, it ain’t no limits. Period!”

However, the 27 year old also advises that both partners only do what they’re comfortable with. She states that in her opinion, to have a good, healthy marriage, you have to be open-minded and keep things spicy in the bedroom especially if you plan to be with this person forever.

The mother of one who is married to a professional basketball player might be on to something as athletes tend to have a bad record with staying faithful due to their excess wealth and being out on the road often. So, I’m guessing it’s not cheating if you’re doing it with your wife right? Right? Or are we all going mad?

What say you?

DANG as her page is fondly called, shared a story of a woman seeking advice. Her friend was dating a man who was between jobs while she on the other hand, was earning a pretty good salary. He had demanded that she pay him a monthly allowance as her paying on dates and covering some expenses out-of-pocket made him feel emasculated.

Personally, this is a red flag and if I were in said lady’s shoes, I would suggest we go our separate ways because there is something so uncomfortable about a partner feeling so entitled to my hard-earned money especially when it appears that they are also ungrateful for what it is I have done for them. Let’s also remember that he’s a boyfriend, not a husband. Warning bells all over! But that’s just me.

DANG asked her 140k followers to weigh in on the matter and here’s what some said:

What say you?

Photo Credit: Citi FM Online

If these signs sound familiar, then it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship or put it to an end.

The thought of being single again excites you

After being with one person for a long time, you may find yourself exploring thoughts of being with other people, or just being single and “free” again. You flirt “innocently” with people you find attractive and say hi to your exes. It is one thing to notice that someone is attractive, but to think of waking up to them after a hot night, instead of your partner is a no-no. If this gets too much, you may end up doing something regrettable and hurt your relationship. As a result, it is probably best to be honest with yourself and your partner,

Your heart sinks when your partner calls or texts you

You should have a pleasant feeling when your partner calls or texts you unexpectedly when you are away from each other. There is nothing loving or affectionate about not wanting to speak to your partner or feeling down when you see a call or text from them. If you feel this way, then baby girl, it may be time to call it quits.

You never want to get intimate

Intimacy is a good way to judge the state of your relationship. When you love someone, their touch alone gets you turned on. Of course, Sex doesn’t define a relationship but it is vital to having a healthy one. If you find that you are no longer sexually attracted to your partner, you may need to sit down with them to figure out the true issue.

You do not enjoy spending time with your partner

They aren’t the first person you think of when you have some free time, and you would rather spend time with other friends or family.  Spending quality time with them feels awkward, as you never have anything to talk about. Let’s say you unexpectedly find yourself leaving work early, who would be the first person you call to hang out? Who do you really want to see? The first people that come to mind are those you care about the most and find important to you. If your partner isn’t one of them, well… do the math. You deserve a relationship with someone who will excite you, not a person you dread spending time with.

You get into frequent unhealthy fights over very minor issues

Yes, every couple fights. That’s not something to really worry about. However, you may find yourselves arguing over  the slightest things frequently. Or you may do relationship-sabotaging things e.g go through their private messages trying to find something to pick a fight about, etc. Fights should be settled with mature conversations. But when you or your partner acts destructively or attempts to inflict physical or emotional pain on the other, then it becomes an unhealthy relationship and one or both of you doesn’t have much love and respect for the relationship. At this point, you both have two options: Either have a genuine conversation and figure out how to work out your issues, or just say goodbye.

Photo Credit: MadamNoire

But what happens when things don’t work according to our carefully-planned blueprint? 

Psychologist Uche Ukuku who holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology from University of Georgia, and a PhD in Counseling/Psychology from University of Oklahoma, shares her story about valuable lessons learned during an unemployment phase in her life. 

Her story teaches us that sometimes, God makes us take detours on our journey so we may become stronger, wiser, and more equipped to handle the bigger blessings coming our way.

Read and be inspired!

***

Today will be my first day at work after 5 and a half months of unemployment. I like sharing unfinished testimonies because they tend to be my most authentic ones.

When I finished my fellowship back in September I never imagined I would be out of work. Since the 6th grade, I’ve had my life planned out, go to college, get my doctorate, get licensed, work.

Up until September, everything was going as planned, no breaks, straight through. But then September came and for the first time in my life I had no plans. I was thrust into a waiting period for my psychologist license that took 5 months longer than I wanted and an emotional toll that I never expected. I interviewed for a couple of jobs. Jobs I knew God was not calling me to, but because I had a “vision” of how my career life was “supposed” to be. I didn’t get two of them and was offered one, but turned it down because I knew God said nah. But it was only October so I felt like it’s okay you got time.

Then October turned into November which turned into December. I kept hearing myself say okay God I think I’ve learned what you wanted me to learn, now you can make things shake. But still I heard nothing. I remember saying in December, there’s no way if they tell me I’ll have to wait to til the board meeting in February to get licensed that I will make it. Nope, God I will give up. Then January 3rd came. I contacted the licensing board on January 3rd and after they told me I would have to wait for the board meeting on February 12th, I broke down. I mean, hyperventilating, uncontrollable tears, unable to speak break down. I immediately sent out an SOS to my family and close friends saying I was defeated and in need of prayers. Because I’ve been blessed with such wonderful people they did just that (and my best friend ordered me cookies all the way from Atlanta). And almost immediately I felt covered in peace.

One of my friends told me that I was on her heart that morning and felt that there was something I hadn’t done yet in this waiting period that I needed to accomplish. I started wondering what could it possibly be I feel like I’ve learned patience (or so I thought), I’m in church… But then I finally realized that during this time I was relying on my own strength and it was tiring me out.

Daily I was pushing a ton of bricks not knowing that if I gave it to God the bricks would disappear.

Once I stopped operating on my own strength, I began operating within peace. People’s questions didn’t bother me and people began to comment how “at ease” I was not knowing had they talked to me a month prior I was a mess. But God. Over and over all I can say is But God. Looking back there were so many things I was able to accomplish because I was unemployed. I was able to be there for births and weddings, to babysit, share my faith while driving Lyft, become committed to my churches community, begin new relationships and strengthen old ones, help plan weddings, host people needing a place to stay. And there have been so many lessons I have learned in this time:

1. Pain and joy can co-exist
2. Never be ashamed to utilize the systems you’ve paid into
3. Well intentioned advice is not always good advice
4. Don’t come to God with more faith than you actually have—be honest
5. When you’ve spent majority of your adult life helping others with their self growth at the cost of your own, it doesn’t help anyone
6. But God, in my brokenness has made me whole

I’m not worrying about where I want to be when I now know where I need to be.