This isn’t about shame. At all. Many people reading this may come from homes marked by divorce, or have been through it themselves. This isn’t a call-out. It’s a call-in. A conversation. Because if we’re going to talk about love, purpose, and kingdom living, we have to talk about how marriage fits into that and why so many of them are falling apart.

The real problem isn’t divorce, it’s everything we ignore on the way there. The problem starts way earlier. It’s in skipping red flags because we’re tired of being single. It’s in getting caught up in vibes, aesthetics, or pressure instead of purpose and character. It’s in thinking “I’ll fix him later” or “I’ll change once we’re married.” It’s in choosing someone we can post instead of someone we can pray with.

We talk so much about the wedding—what we’ll wear, what the hashtag will be, who’ll make the guest list—but not enough about the weight of what comes after the DJ packs up and the lace is folded away. Do you even like the person you’re marrying? Do they know God? Do they submit to God? Do you feel safe with their leadership, with their wounds, with their silence?

Again, this isn’t to say divorce is never justified. Abuse, infidelity, manipulation—these are real, heavy things. But outside of those, what we’re seeing more and more is people realizing, after marriage, what should have been addressed before it.

So what’s the answer? Not “just stay and endure.” The solution is deeper preparation. More honesty. Real conversations. Therapy. Premarital counseling that isn’t just ticking boxes. Asking hard questions like: “Can I grow with this person?” “Do we resolve conflict in a healthy way?” “Do I feel peace when I pray about them, or pressure?”

And if you’re already in the marriage and quietly wondering if it’s too late, breathe. This is for you, too. Sometimes the healing starts inside the covenant. Maybe what you need right now isn’t an exit, but a reset. A return to honesty. To counsel. To prayer. To unlearn what wasn’t healthy and relearn each other in a new light. It takes two, yes but if even one person starts leaning into the work, asking hard questions, and choosing growth, the atmosphere begins to shift. Don’t underestimate the power of humility, of asking for help, or of letting God reframe what you thought was finished.

We need to normalize waiting. Slowing down. Calling off engagements when the Holy Spirit says “no,” even if the wedding is six weeks away. We need to talk more about becoming the right person before obsessing over finding one. Because sometimes, it’s not that God hasn’t sent someone, it’s that we wouldn’t know how to steward the relationship if He did. Healing your wounds, breaking unhealthy patterns, learning how to communicate, how to apologize, how to be led, how to listen—these are the quiet, unglamorous things that prepare you for the loud beauty of love that lasts. It’s not just about praying for a good marriage. It’s about becoming someone who can carry one.

Because here’s the thing: marriage is beautiful. It’s holy. It’s worth desiring. But it’s also weighty. And we can’t keep pretending that “just winging it” is working. It’s not.

Let’s do it differently.

The post Can We Talk About How Normal Divorce Has Become? appeared first on Queen moremi.

One would think that in order to move on from said horrible experience, baby girl would want to get rid of that last name and start fresh on a clean slate.

In a recent interview with Rick and Sasha, Drea tries to justify her reasons for still choosing to keep Robert’s last name.

When asked why she hasn’t dropped the last name Kelly, Drea  said: “Well, when people say association, that’s, like, a club or fraternity or whatever. I paid for my name in blood, sweat and tears. Literally. Nobody knows what it was like to be Drea Kelly. Drea Kelly is strong. Drea Kelly is a survivor. Drea Kelly made it away from Robert Kelly. That is my badge. I will not and I know people wanna think, ‘Oh, well, if the abuse is so bad, why keep the name?’ The name didn’t abuse me. Robert did.”

She also mentioned that if she had a commonplace last name, she probably would not be being interviewed by them on the radio right now.

In case you didn’t know, Drea has been part of a cast for reality show, Hollywood Exes, and has been featured on various daytime talk shows, in which she constantly recounts the abuse she endured, and her desire to help women who are going through domestic violence get the help they need.

According to Bustle, she once told hosts of The View:

“…that she had decided to start speaking out about the alleged abuse after seeing another woman on TV describe troubling incidents she says were similar to ones she experienced herself. “You cannot not speak when someone’s life and what they’ve been through is parallel to yours,” Kelly, who also goes by “Drea,” said in the same interview.

I wanted to bring validity to these women’s stories… So much of it falls on deaf ears and no one believes them… I was like, ‘If no one else is going to speak up for her, if no one else is going to believe her, at least she knows that I do.'”

While many have lauded her for raising awareness about domestic violence, others criticize her for choosing to keep her ex husband’s last name, insinuating that she is using that avenue as an opportunity to gain fame and profit from it.

What do you think?

Photo Credit: Surviving R.Kelly

The post Why is Ex Wife Drea Kelly Still Keeping R.Kelly’s Last Name? appeared first on Queen moremi.