I have come to realize that these feelings of doubt creep in mostly because we don’t take time to honor some changes/growth in our lives.

Throwback to about three weeks ago when I started to feel burnt out, I had to pause and remember some excerpts from an Emotional Intelligence class I attended where the teacher said to always “name the feeling” . In the midst of the crisis, panic attacks and tears, always pause and ask your self ” what is this about?” “what do I need”? – This is supposed to allow you pick out the things that will help you get out of that phase or feel a little bit better.

Today, I’m going to share tips I’ve learned and I’m currently practicing:

• Identify what is bugging you: Often, when we are feeling a sense of discomfort, we just go about our lives and act like “meh, I’ll deal with it later”, or you start to lash out at people (guilty!) or you turn to unhealthy habits like eating too much, drinking too much, or other destructive habits. All of that is only going to lead you to a dark place. First, Identify what the problem is. Do you feel you are not getting enough support? Do you feel choked up? Do you feel like you need a change of environment? Do you feel anxious about change? Having a sense of awareness about the problem enables you to look for ways to tackle it. That sense of understanding will help you be kinder to yourself and to the people around you.
• Create healthy boundaries: This one has been of great help to me, as it has helped me identify what my work hours and the time spent on various aspects of my life are. I identified these time frames and that, you guys, was one of the most daunting things to do because I can be quite disorganized. Create boundaries with your time, your relationships, social media, etc.
• Find ways to blow off steam: This could be something as simple as calling a friend. A good friend will pull you out of any dark moment faster than you would if you were alone. That being said, I want to thank God for friends that I can trust, laugh with, hang out with, bond over poems and movies with, and friends that just genuinely love me. That being said also, dump that TOXIC friend in your life today!
• Treat yourself: Go window shopping, eat good food, get a haircut, exfoliate your skin, etc. Treat yourself, because it is a way to remind yourself that everything is going to be okay and that you are deserving & worthy but please, don’t get reckless about it. Spend wisely too.
• Create a to-do list: I’m probably the only one on earth that dislikes schedules but because never say never, I started creating to-do lists and I started out with a list of 3 things and slowly it moved to 5, 6 and so on. To-do lists help me figure out what is really important and what needs to be done. A to-do list helps put one’s mind at ease as it just feels really good when you tick something off your list.

I hope these tips come in handy and that you will be kinder to yourself because you deserve happiness and all the good things of life.

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