Time waits for no one, you have to decide your future now.

I just had this epiphany and had to share with you guys. Here are 5 important things you should know in your 20s:

Know yourself
You might ask me, what’s there to know about myself – right? Well my dear, I’m still getting to know myself, it is a gradual process. Know who you are. What you stand for, your values, your temperament, your hobbies, and skills, then define who YOU are. 

It’s important to know who you are, and clearly articulate that to yourself, and stand proudly and confident in your individuality. If you do not do this, then chances are, you will let the world define who you are, which could lead to self-esteem issues.

If I give you a piece of paper, for instance, to write in one sentence about yourself, what would you write? Who would you say you are? Know yourself! 

Learn a skill
Don’t limit yourself to your formal education. Learn a skill and become a master at it. Practice makes perfect. Once you are confident in said skill, then find ways to monetize it. Secure that bag girl!

Avoid meaningless relationships
Any relationship that will not add value to your life, just cut it off. Whether it’s romantic relationships, friendships, or certain overly toxic family members. Don’t waste your precious time on people who have clearly shown that they are bound to sabotage your future in one way or another. 

Don’t be a people pleaser
No matter how nice you are, there will always be people who will not like you, and that is not your business. If you want to grow in life, you can’t continue to please everybody. 

Stay true to yourself
It’s okay to admire others but let it end there, don’t start imitating their lifestyle or wanting to be like them. Every woman is unique in her own way. Going back to my first point: Know yourself! List all the good things you like about yourself and start loving them.

Staying true to oneself can be difficult especially as most women in this era try so hard to follow the trend and impress the world. But take this from me:

• You won’t die if your make up is not on fleek.

• You can slay without wearing designers outfits.

• Your hair will still look beautiful whether it’s natural or relaxed

• If you don’t have the latest phone, it doesn’t make you less of a human being

Staying true to yourself means accepting who you are, living within your means and becoming the person version of yourself.

Can I get an Amen?

Photo Credit: thetruemetalmaniac

However, her excitement was shortlived when she finally moved to New York, as she didn’t book any jobs for an entire year in 2013. In an interview with Mic, she said:

When I first came to New York [in 2013], I didn’t work at all. I came over as a dark-skinned woman, a plus-size woman and I had my head completely shaved. They weren’t quite sure what brands wanted to do with me. For the commercial plus-size industry, they always wanted a girl next door look, but then I remember Lupita [Nyong’o] became famous and she really, really changed how beauty was perceived. I was here for almost a year before I was booked. Then Lupita came and all of a sudden I was booked.

Since then, Philomena has booked many gigs, including being featured in campaigns of big brands including Fabletics, Torrid, Target, and Lane Bryant. She also appeared in a swimsuit ad in the 2016 issue of Sports Illustrated. 

Speaking on reactions to her swimsuit feature in Sports Illustrated, she said, “I got so many messages from young, dark-skinned women letting me know that they were so glad a different face of beauty was being shown in this magazine. They felt like they had been getting relegated to a certain standard of beauty, and I showed them something different.”

In addition to being a model, Philomena is also an inclusivity advocate. She frequently voices her opinions regarding  the need for diversity in the fashion and beauty industries

“I think it’s just that the fashion industry can only accept one thing at a time… It’s like OK, well if we’re going to add plus, then let’s keep it hourglass and white…Everyone needs to realize the responsibility they hold and realize where they can make a difference,” she says.

“It’s on the agent’s side, getting more darker-skinned girls in. A brand will say, ‘We should use a black plus-size model’ but then use one with a Rihanna or Beyoncé skin tone. They don’t pay attention to the tonal differences. It’s recognizing the nuances in the bigger, wider scheme of things. You can’t say you’re inclusive when you only have one plus-size, hourglass white model.”

Fashion entrepreneur and blogger, Toyosi Gregory-Jonah, shares 5 reasons why she relaxed her natural hair after being a naturalista for five years prior.

What do you think about her perspective?