Queen moremi https://queenmoremi.com Wed, 30 Oct 2024 22:04:08 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.6.2 #WCW Coach Ndali Modebe is Impacting Lives Positively through the Louis Love Nest Foundation & Project STEAM 2024 https://queenmoremi.com/2024/10/wcw-coach-ndali-modebe-is-impacting-lives-positively-through-the-louis-love-nest-foundation-project-steam-2024/ https://queenmoremi.com/2024/10/wcw-coach-ndali-modebe-is-impacting-lives-positively-through-the-louis-love-nest-foundation-project-steam-2024/#respond Wed, 30 Oct 2024 22:04:08 +0000 https://queenmoremi.com/?p=5146 Coach Ndali Modebe is on a Mission! Through the Louis Love Nest Foundation and Project STEAM 2024, Ndali and her team are bringing global expertise to empower communities with health,…]]> Coach Ndali Modebe is on a Mission! Through the Louis Love Nest Foundation and Project STEAM 2024, Ndali and her team are bringing global expertise to empower communities with health, nutrition, knowledge and essential skills. From feeding over 400 children in Anambra to free STEAM training with international coaches, her integrated approach is transforming lives. 

We had a chat with her about her advocacy work, and she shed some light on all the amazing work she is doing.

Enjoy!

What is iodine deficiency, and why is it considered a major public health issue worldwide?

Iodine deficiency is a significant public health issue because iodine is essential for producing thyroid hormones, which regulate growth, brain development, and metabolism. A lack of iodine can lead to developmental delays, goiter, and cognitive impairments, especially in children and pregnant women. In high-risk communities, this deficiency can prevent entire generations from reaching their full potential, impacting productivity and economic growth on a larger scale.

Can you explain how iodine deficiency affects both children and adults, and what the long-term consequences are if left untreated?

For children, especially those in their formative years, iodine deficiency can lead to severe developmental issues, including reduced cognitive ability and stunted growth. Adults may experience hypothyroidism, fatigue, and, in severe cases, heart problems. The long-term consequences can be intergenerational, perpetuating cycles of poverty and diminished health, which is why public health initiatives like salt iodization and education are crucial for prevention.

How prevalent is iodine deficiency globally, and are there specific regions or populations that are more affected?

Over two billion people globally are iodine-deficient, with many facing moderate to severe deficiency. Regions with iodine-deficient soils, particularly in Sub-Saharan Africa, South Asia, and parts of Europe, are most affected. Rural and low-income communities are particularly at risk, where access to iodized salt and fortified foods is often limited.

What are some common symptoms or signs that someone might be iodine deficient?

A common visible symptom is goiter, or a swelling in the neck, due to thyroid gland enlargement. Other signs include fatigue, hair loss, weight gain, dry skin, and cognitive sluggishness. Because many remain asymptomatic, awareness and preventive measures, like the use of iodized salt, are essential.

What steps is your organization taking to raise awareness about iodine deficiency, especially in high-risk communities?

Coach Ndali: Through the Louis Love Nest Foundation, we’ve committed to outreach initiatives that offer both immediate relief and education. Since July, in collaboration with the Sir Sam Modebe Foundation SSMF, we’ve conducted monthly sensitization programs across Anambra, reaching between 200-300 street children monthly and feeding over 400 children in October. This outreach also targets the promotion of iodine awareness, while supplying families with nutritious food and the knowledge to incorporate iodine in their diets.

Additionally, our Project STEAM 2024 initiative has brought together over 17 international coaches from Canada, the U.S., South Africa, Ghana, and Nigeria to provide free training in STEAM fields (Science, Technology, Engineering, Arts, and Mathematics) and skill acquisition. This October, we are reaching youth in high-risk communities, equipping them with essential skills for a brighter, self-sustaining future.

I want to take this moment to commend my parents, Prof. Ifeoma Modebe and Sir Sam Modebe, for their unwavering dedication to humanitarian work in Anambra State. I am equally grateful to Barr. B. N Oneh for helping me hatch and develop this initiative and to our sponsors — Francis Osaji of System Digits, Hon. Igwe Nike, and Oreoluwa Afe — for their generous contributions to support what we do.

A heartfelt thank you also to each of the coaches who dedicated their time to Project STEAM 2024; their expertise and guidance have been invaluable to the success of our mission.

How can individuals ensure they are getting enough iodine in their daily diet? Are there specific foods or supplements you recommend?

Simple choices like using iodized salt can make a difference. Other iodine-rich foods include seafood, dairy products, eggs, and seaweed. In our outreach, we encourage the use of iodized salt and the inclusion of these foods whenever possible.

Are there any misconceptions about iodine deficiency that you’d like to address?

A major misconception is that iodine deficiency only affects developing countries. This is a global concern, even in developed nations, and everyone needs iodine daily. By dispelling these myths, we stress that iodine intake is vital across all ages and regions.

What role do governments and policymakers play in tackling iodine deficiency, and are there any key initiatives or programs that have been particularly successful?

Governments are crucial, particularly through salt iodization policies and public health initiatives like the UNICEF-Iodine Deficiency Disorder (IDD) Elimination Program, which has partnered with countries to promote iodized salt. Continued investment in these initiatives is essential for long-term impact.

How can schools, communities, and local organizations get involved in supporting World Iodine Deficiency Day?

Schools and communities can partner with us to organize workshops, distribute materials, and equally with governmental institutions/health organizations for greater outreach. Local advocacy for iodized salt and nutrition education can also help raise awareness.

Looking ahead, what are some of the biggest challenges in eradicating iodine deficiency, and what gives you hope for the future?

Challenges include ensuring accessibility to iodized salt in remote regions and maintaining public awareness. However, the dedication we’ve witnessed from our monthly outreach in Anambra, our collaborations with institutions like Enugu State Young Farmers Associations and Ephesus Gatherings that leant us their platforms to address the youths ensuring the success of Project STEAM 2024, makes me hopeful. Through these collaborative efforts, and with continued support from dedicated leaders and partners, I believe we can build stronger, healthier communities.

The Louis Love Nest Foundation and Project STEAM 2024 are creating a legacy of positive change through nutrition, health, and education — one community at a time.

I want to take a moment to wholeheartedly commend my parents, Prof. Ifeoma Modebe and Sir Sam Modebe, for their unwavering commitment to humanitarian work in Anambra State. Their dedication has inspired countless lives, and I am immensely grateful to them for setting such a remarkable example.

I also want to extend a special appreciation to Barr. B. N Oneh for collaborating with me in bringing this initiative to life. This project would not be where it is today without her input and support.

A heartfelt thank you goes to our generous sponsors—Francis Osaji of System Digits, Hon. Igwe Nike, and Oreoluwa Afe—for supporting and believing in our mission. Your sponsorship has been invaluable in helping us make a difference in the lives of so many.

Lastly, to all the coaches who took the time and energy to contribute to Project STEAM 2024, your dedication has been instrumental. Thank you for your expertise and commitment to empowering communities across the globe.

Here’s the list of coaches and their topics for Project STEAM 2024:

Fafali Mathis – Cybersecurity (US Navy Veteran) 

Essential cybersecurity practices to protect personal and business information from digital threats.

Kenneth Eze (ENSYFA President) – Agro Business Strategies for profitable agribusiness, focusing on sustainable and local farming models.

Austin Areh (Founder, Wildflower PR) – Speech Communication for Business Owners Techniques for impactful business communication to build brand reputation.

Coach Ndali Modebe (Project STEAM Coordinator) – Project STEAM Recap 

Weekly collaborative session to review progress, set goals, and share insights within the B3I network.

Barrister Bonita N. Oneh (Legal Adviser to the National Youths Council of Nigeria, Enugu State) – Human Rights Emergencies Legal steps for handling urgent rights issues.

Don Francis Osaji – Digital Marketing & You. Introduction to digital marketing tools and tactics for audience engagement.

Komla Elikem (US Navy Veteran) – Cybersecurity (Advanced)- Advanced cybersecurity, including risk management and defense strategies.

Professor Ifeoma Modebe – Iodine and Nutrition Part 1. Nutrition’s role in health and productivity, tailored for professionals.

Mercy Umoren – Project Management. Principles for organizing, executing, and evaluating business projects.

Kelechi Ogoke – Co-Host Frankly Business Podcast 

Digital Marketing -Strategies for using digital platforms to enhance businesses

Coach Ndali Modebe – DAME Media And PR Solutions – Branding on a Budget- Building a strong brand image with minimal resources.

Coach Ndali Modebe – First Aid & You – Life-saving first aid techniques, including CPR.

Uzoamaka Abia (Madam Jazz) – Social Selling Techniques for selling through social platforms to engage customers.

Coach Ndali Modebe – Customer Service Pro – Comprehensive customer service strategies for client satisfaction.

Moremi Elekwachi – Good Practices of Content Creation; Best practices for creating compelling content.

Coach Ndali Modebe – Why Reset Sunday and Having a Mindset Shift Can Boost Productivity. Importance of regular resets to maintain focus and avoid burnout.

Ambassador Davisha Johnson – Home Garden Hacks – Small-scale gardening tips for sustainable food security.

Johannes Andries Deysel & Sean Allen – The Future of Creativity. Exploring Web3, AI, and NFTs in the creative landscape.

Coach Ndali Modebe – Business Web Model Part 1 & Iodine and Nutrition Part 2. Nutrition’s role in health and productivity, tailored for professionals. 

Coach Ndali Modebe – Business Web Model Part 2. Developing a structured approach to networking and business growth.

OreOluwa Afe – Intro to Digital Transformation. Basics of digital transformation and applications for AI tools like ChatGPT.

Final Words

We are deeply committed to starting a powerful movement built on knowledge and love. Our goal is to inspire every person and community across Africa, by helping them realize their true potential. As we work together, we recognize that by harnessing our resources and talents, we can significantly boost Africa’s GDP, creating a stronger economy for all.

We believe that by sharing wisdom and showing kindness, we can create a brighter future for everyone. Together, we will strive to make Africa a place of greatness, where dreams can come true, and everyone has the chance to thrive. We won’t give up; we will keep pushing forward until our vision becomes a reality. Together, we can change the world!

A Warm Thank You To QM

I would like to extend my heartfelt gratitude to Queen Moremi Blog. It is always a pleasure to collaborate with you as a Coach in Project STEAM. I truly appreciate the incredible opportunity to be interviewed on your blog once again.

Now, let’s get everyone hyped! 

Should we announce our next project yet? ANTICIPATE!!! ANTICIPATE!!! ANTICIPATE!!!

Together, we are making a difference, and I can’t wait to see what’s next!

Follow Instagram @ndalimodebe @louislovenestfoundation @projectsteam24.

YouTube @ndalimodebe 

Whatsapp\Call +233209087166 

Email: projectsteam@outlook.com 

www.damemediasolutions.com

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From France with Love! Faith Escapades with God https://queenmoremi.com/2024/03/from-france-with-love-faith-escapades-with-god/ https://queenmoremi.com/2024/03/from-france-with-love-faith-escapades-with-god/#comments Sun, 10 Mar 2024 04:56:34 +0000 https://queenmoremi.com/?p=5121 It was early 2021 during a peak COVID period, and I had a high-risk twin-pregnancy. I needed a particular kind of specialist for pre-natal care, and these specialists weren’t available…]]> It was early 2021 during a peak COVID period, and I had a high-risk twin-pregnancy. I needed a particular kind of specialist for pre-natal care, and these specialists weren’t available in Nigeria at the time.

After doing some research, my husband and I discovered that there were many of these specialists in the United States.

Because we were in a pandemic, there were lots of travel restrictions – especially to the United States, coupled with other obstacles associated with that peculiar season. Nonetheless, I believed that with God, all things would be possible. But this didn’t change the fact that I was a tad bit worried.

God saw my precarious “faith-filled-yet-fearful” tumultuous state of mind, and He spoke to me through a series of dreams.

In one of the most significant dreams, He showed me a printed-out e-ticket with the Air France logo on it. He also showed me myself on a plane, surrounded by air hostesses in Air France uniforms.

When I woke up, I was confused! I was like “ummm, Lord, are we ‘bout to have French babies? Like are you telling us to travel to France right now? In the middle of a pandemic? Because, I’m not understanding this.” I started to reminisce about my primary school days, thinking, “well, I probably should have paid closer attention in French class back then! Perhaps I’d have been a fluent French-speaker by now. ‘Cos right now all I can remember is ‘Bonjour’ and ‘Je M’appelle.’”

After surmounting many hurdles over the next couple of weeks after I had that dream, my trip to the United States was finally confirmed. As I held my plane ticket in my hands with gratitude in my heart, I glanced through the flight details. It was a Delta Airlines non-stop flight from Lagos to Atlanta.

Then I heard the Holy Spirit whisper in my ear, “look closely.”  So, I took a closer look at the ticket, and saw these words in fine print “Operated by Air France.” And next to this phrase was a tiny Air France logo.

Puzzled, I did some research and discovered that Delta was partnering with Air France at the time, to provide travelers with more flexibility for where, and when, they fly.

What I learned from this experience?

Firstly, God loves speaking in riddles. It is when we seek in obedience that we find out the literal meaning of his directions.

Secondly, God will always make a way even in the most tumultuous situations. Just trust in Him.

Thirdly, yeah God has an amazing sense of humour! I mean, He really actually could have  sent me to France in the middle of a pandemic just to prove a point. Haha.

Seriously still thinking about dusting off my French skills just in case God actually has an assignment for me in France in the future. Or maybe a holiday. Or something. Right?

Merci.

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From Being a Talent Manager to Becoming The Talent! Lola Adamson is Fearlessly Fulfilling Her Purpose https://queenmoremi.com/2020/06/from-being-a-talent-manager-to-becoming-the-talent-lola-adamson-is-fearlessly-fulfilling-her-purpose/ Sun, 14 Jun 2020 06:00:07 +0000 http://queenmoremi.com/?p=4942 If you are familiar with entertainment industry circles in Nigeria, chances are you may have at one time or another, met Lola Adamson, or at least heard her name.  Lola…]]> If you are familiar with entertainment industry circles in Nigeria, chances are you may have at one time or another, met Lola Adamson, or at least heard her name. 

Lola was well known as one of the best publicists and talent managers in the country, who worked with lots of big names in the industry including Tiwa Savage, MI, DJ Cuppy, and many others. 

I “met” Lola back in the day when I used to work at BellaNaija as Assistant Editor and Business Development Manager. I met her via e-mail and phone calls actually. Something about her just really resonated with me even though I had never met her in person. Maybe it was something about her tone. I had spoken to my fair share of talent managers/publicists back in the day and for some reason, a lot of them had a tendency to sound really frantic (due to the nature of their job I guess, they were always under pressure to deliver). Lola always sounded calm, and I found that so interesting. Then of course I researched her and found out she was this really huge deal. 

Anyways, I’d always admired her work from afar. Over time, I noticed she wasn’t as active in the industry as she once was and I wondered why.

So I asked her, and she graciously granted us this interview where she reveals personal details about the road to switching careers in her 30s, following her true calling, how her faith in God changed the trajectory of her life, and much more. 

Hey Lola, where have you been?
Hiya! Hahaha, the question I’ve been getting a lot lately. Physically, I am currently in Los Angeles taking acting classes to perfect my skills and at the same time taking the steps to secure a better future .

For people who may not know who you are, please introduce yourself?
My name is Lola Adamson and I am an actress, a lover of life. A firm believer of first finding yourself (knowing your true identity), then finding your purpose and working your hardest to achieve it.

You used to be a talent manager/publicist in Nigeria at some point. Tell us more about this career path and why you deviated from that?
Oh wow, being a talent manager and publicist was a very interesting part of my life, it helped get me to where I am today. But it wasn’t something I was meant to do forever, and I think I always knew that, but I suppressed the feeling for a long time. I like to think it all happened for the right reasons.

I moved back to Lagos in December 2009 after completing my masters in England (I really don’t like using the word “moved back” because I lived there for just about 2 years, lol).

I decided to go into PR in 2009 and in January 2010 I set up my company. I met M.I in February with the hopes of being his publicist, but he said “No, I want you to be my manager” (I was honestly asking myself back then, “what did I do right and am I manager material?”). Turns out I was perfect manager material, Lol. And that’s how management came into my life.

The next 6 years after that was mainly focused on management and PR (I added tailored event production to my company services in 2017), big and small jobs, A-list clients and underground talents. I enjoyed it, but I always felt incomplete. I always thought there was more I could achieve as a publicist/talent manager but most of the things I tried to work on never seemed to pan out well for me. So as a typical Lagos hustler, I decided to add more to the mix of what I was doing.

I worked with Ndani as the social media manager and events coordinator from 2014-2015, started a blog and moved on to a vlog on YouTube later in 2016. I got a job with RocNation as the General Manager for Africa in 2015 and this brought me back full time into the music industry.

Months after I had stopped managing Cuppy in 2016, I started asking myself series of questions, “what’s really next Lola? Continue managing talents?” and not long after that, my boss from RocNation called to say, “Lola we just signed Tiwa Savage, that’s your next project?” and then I said to myself,  “Well, looks like I’m still managing talents”, Lol.

I loved what I was doing but I wasn’t complete, and I had to feel complete and honestly, I thought feeling complete was doing what I have always wanted to do, be an actress, but I didn’t realize then that that’s not what I needed to fill the void within me, now I do. Only Jesus could fill that emptiness which when I did realize, made me complete and gave me the confidence and strength to go after my dreams.

January 1 2017, I woke up in my cold room in Birmingham and literally said to myself “I AM DONE”.

I had a minor argument with my dad 2 nights before. I started the conversation with “Daddy please, when the time comes, let my siblings do what they really desire to do and let’s just guide them. Remember how you didn’t want me to study theatre arts when I wanted to?” and he responded with “I did what a good father would have done, the industry wasn’t looking hopeful then and I wanted to protect you”.

What I was doing was trying to blame someone else for me not going after my dreams when in true context, I had every opportunity to go after it, I mean I was 33 going on 34, I had stopped asking my father for money years ago before that night (well he actually bought my ticket for the family vacation, let me not lie, Lol), I could have picked it up but I was scared and not confident that I could pull it off.

As much as I loved what I was doing, it always felt like a JOB and that wasn’t what I wanted. I decided to stop management and PR that very day, even before going back to Lagos. I turned down almost every offer that came my way that year. I continued with my vlog which wasn’t paying me and the moment I decided to add event production to my bag of talents, I was approached to handle PR for, and plan the entire 2-day musical showcase for Tolani in 2017. Handling the PR for that job was not so much an issue for me as I used it to explore a skill I had but never really put to good use.

The only client I had left as a talent manager was Tiwa Savage and that was via my contract with RocNation which I couldn’t abruptly end, and I was glad because working with Tiwa motivated me some more as it showed me a different side of her, a side that inspired me so much. Her work ethics. Tiwa does not play when it comes to her career and seeing first hand her passion to do things right and professionally motivated me to keep pushing myself.

How did acting come into the mix?
My dad is an artist and as the only child back then, I would always be with him in the studio, watching him paint, listening to music and dancing together, I had my mini canvas and paint brushes as well, it was perfect.

I grew up wanting to be an actress, a musician and a model (the triple threat, lol) but then I grew up and all that changed, lol. As a child, my dad would always show me magazines with models and actresses and tell me I had to eat right to get good skin, take my education serious so no one could say they made me because only God can make and break anyone.

I have always loved movies and everything involved in the process of making one, it has always fascinated me. The stories in some movies would have me pondering on certain issues for days, I would day dream about being in movies with Julia Roberts and Bimbo Akintola. I was actually in a movie Bimbo Akintola shot in 2017, and that blew me away. She’s such a fun person. It was a minor role, but I was such an excited puppy to be on set, the waiting didn’t even bother me, Lol. One time I had to wait till 4am before they shot my scene and I had been there since 8pm, lol. I would also picture being in movies with Macaulay Culkin, Whoopi Goldberg and a lot more. I still feel that way today. In fact the feeling is stronger and the pictures in my head are more vivid.

In my own weird way, I always held on to the desires of being an actress, but I wasn’t confident enough to chase it. I wasn’t getting the right support and I felt people would end up laughing at me, so I made myself believe there was no point chasing a dream that wouldn’t be a reality for me. A fantasy, that’s what I called it.

Before my decision in 2017, I would tell friends in the film industry I wanted to be an actress and honestly they didn’t take me serious, Lol. They literally thought I was joking and would say things like “Lola stop now, Lola music genius, Lola music guru.” All that didn’t help. Some friends like Seun Ajayi and Kunle Idowu (Frank Donga) gave me good support and pushed me to go after it, this was back in 2015 when we all worked together at Ndani. Seun pushed me to go for an audition which I did but never got called back for, lol. That didn’t make me feel good, I wasn’t confident enough and that made me think there was no point and I wasn’t good enough.

After I made that decision in January 2017, I spent most of that year going for auditions in Lagos, I cannot stress on how hectic that process is. I respect all the actors and actresses who go through this. When next I go for an audition in Lagos, I will be ready, Lol.

I would get asked at these auditions “ahh why are you here, leave this hustle for us now”, “all you have to do is call one of these producers and you will get a role”. My first thought was “do they know me?”As a talent manager I didn’t think I was well known. I couldn’t explain to anyone then how going through that process was important to me, I was ready to do the work, I really was not going to ask for favors, I had said to myself “if this is going to happen for real, I want to earn it.”

Luckily, I was able to book 3 roles that year, 2 of those were speaking extras and I was the happiest I had been in a long time. I got call backs and got roles, God was moving in my life.

Tell us about your ongoing professional acting training?
Ohhhh, it has been such an exciting experience, the main workshop I attend is Truth Be Told Acting Collective coached by Bojesse Christopher. First time I took his workshop was in September 2017 as a test run and I fell in love with his techniques, Meisner repetition and Stanislavski techniques. I knew I would always go back, and I did.

I also went to Identity Drama Acting school (Los Angeles campus) where I learnt some more skills added to what I learn every week at Bojesse’s workshop. There I learnt more about breaking down scripts, movement techniques, voice classes and so much more essentials. It has shown me the extensive work that goes into being a great, talented and skilled actor and that’s what I want to be.

Bojesse’s workshop is also like therapy for me. I started the workshop with a huge wall up, cut off on the inside, almost numb to feelings, stone cold look, it was a huge period of transition for me. But as the great coach he is, he challenged me and pushed me to be more vulnerable and open without holding back, when to suppress and when to let go. It has truly been a blessing and it helps my everyday living. My confidence boosted, I started looking people in the eye and not avoiding contact, when I get in front of a camera or people, I am not in my head thinking of what to say or do, I am there with them.

It’s all been such a life changing experience, I am always looking forward to going to class.

Will you be pursuing acting full time now?
Oh Yesssssss!!!!!

What were your family and friend’s reaction when you told them you wanted to take your acting more seriously?
From my past experience, I have learnt to speak with those who matter, whatever anyone wants to say, they are free to say. Everyone is different, we can’t all agree on the same things or see things the same way, it is humanly impossible. So, I focused on telling those who mattered and who cared, the rest just seem to have stumbled on monologues posted on my Instagram page.

My dad was still a bit worried when I initially told him I decided to drop management and focus on acting full time, I could hear it in his voice but the amazing father he is, he said I will support you in every way I can, I’ve got your back and he has. My dad rates my class performances, points out habits he notices, tells me to be myself and not feel anxious. Then he’ll say, I rate you 45%, do better next time, Lol.

That’s exactly what I want from people, I want you to be honest with me, don’t just gass me up and say “you go girl, you’re killing it”, when you’re thinking to yourself “she blinks too much, she should have paused a bit before responding” or whatever you feel should be worked on, don’t be a yes man or woman with me please. If you can’t be honest, I would respect you more for not saying anything or commenting on my post. I have had a few of those, some friends have DM’d me with their thoughts and areas they felt I could do better, and these are actually people I never thought would reach out, I respect that and always take on their advice.

I remember someone sending me a DM on Instagram last year saying “na wa o, you’re really taking this your acting serious”, my mental response was “no, I’m waiting for you to tell me what to do and how to live my life”, but I just responded with YES! Lol.

My mum is an original Lola cheerleader, lol. My super prayer warrior.

My best friends have been nothing but supportive, Oh My Lord. I am so blessed to have the close friends I have. They have been there, never backing down. My best friends Aj and Aramide send me money all the way from Lagos (isn’t it usually the other way around, Lol). My childhood best friend Grace lives in Manchester and at some point this year, she was sending me a particular amount monthly, like pocket money. She would call panicking, how are you eating, how’s your account, you just paid your fees, you just paid your rent, in-fact I will start sending you this amount monthly, Lol. I truly truly am blessed.

Did anyone ever discourage you from pursuing your acting career?
Not really, at least not boldly saying “don’t do it, you won’t succeed”, I could see it in their faces though and hear it in their voices. They didn’t believe in me, some would laugh, and some would say “okay don’t worry, I’ll let you know”, and of course I never heard from them again. After a while I thought that’s fine, I believe in myself and that’s enough, I am ENOUGH.

When did you first get saved?
First time for me was in 2013, I was slowly hitting depression. I could hear it knocking on my door but GOD!!!! I dodged a bullet, I was saved, I found Jesus, but I just knew Him surface level, I didn’t continuously seek Him when I found a certain peace. I would pray baby Christian prayers, I hadn’t learnt the true meaning of worship (I don’t mean just singing. Worship is our love expressed to God as a response to His grace towards us, and this covers many grounds). I was still doing certain things I shouldn’t have been doing, I was trying to eat my cake and have it, Lol.

How would you describe your relationship with God?
I don’t think there are any existing words to truly describe my relationship with God, I’m sure a lot of people will agree with me on this when it comes to describing their relationship with Him, words are not enough.

God is my everything, we talk everyday without fail. I have grown to love and respect Him more and more. It has not been an easy journey but worth every second and I appreciate it more each day.

I do not want to EVER want to do anything, take a step, make plans, eat, sleep, speak, anything at all, without Him, there’s just no point. He’s the foundation of everything and anything concerning Lola Adamson. And talking about Him just gets me excited, I am all smiles right now.

In what ways did your spiritual life impact the change in your career?
A whole lot! But at the beginning I didn’t realize that it was what was fueling my decision, my drive, my passion. It really was the push.

I was finally positively confident, I was starting to figure myself out and that confidence in me had risen to a point of me finally letting the thought of acting out of the cage I had put it in. The source of my confidence was Christ, it was His grace that was developing and shaping me into the Queen I was created to be. I am constantly working on it, I believe there’s more I haven’t explored yet.

My faith started building up from 2016. By 2017 I was attending church more frequently, praying on my own, going for night vigils and looking forward to it. I had cut a lot of things out of my life, I just wanted more of Jesus (I still do) and because of this, things were slowly shifting in my life. One of my closest friends who helped me a lot from 2016 is Lynxxx. Not a lot of people saw Jesus the way I did, I wanted to be around people who were hungry for His love and presence in their lives and were not ashamed to say it, that was my new cool. I don’t mean just going to church on Sunday people, lol. Some people thought talking deeply about God wasn’t cool and some said your relationship with God should be private, I mean how can you keep Him private? He said go out into the world and tell the people about Him and His promise.

Thankfully, Lynxxx for me was that one perfect friend, he still is and it’s always great when we link up (physically or over the phone), which is often.

As my spiritual life developed, I believed more in myself because I believed in my Savior. If I ever questioned anything in my life, I didn’t have to question the right things, it just felt right and didn’t feel like I was deceiving myself.

Do you ever struggle with self-doubt? If so, how do you handle this?
I did and in a little way I still do, it’s been a long battle but I’m winning now, lol. I didn’t believe people would accept me as an actress, I never should have let that get into my head, but I did. I fed the negative seed of “no one thinks you’re good, no one will accept you”, when I should really have been saying “I am great, I should go for this because this is what I was born to do, it’s not about people, it is about me and I am enough”. I put people’s thoughts and opinions first before mine and that was my first mistake.

As a talent manager I didn’t think I would get to the stage I did, every client was a surprise to me. I actually do not remember going after a client and selling my company and services, I was always approached. Wow look at God. Thing is I may doubt myself a little, but I do not doubt God, and that’s all that matters.

As a Christian, the way I handle it when negative seeds pop up in my thoughts is to first of all surrender it to God. We all know what those thoughts feel like, they don’t feel good and they don’t make you feel good. They make you feel negative about yourself or situation and that is no way to life a full life. Those are not my thoughts, they are not of God and therefore are not welcome.

What I do after is to speak to someone I trust, someone close. I pour out my feelings, I cry if I have to, I let it all out and I have been blessed with amazing people that when I speak negatively about myself, they respond with something positive and speak positivity into my life.

I would advise people to always open up to people close to them, could be a friend, family, Bible study partners, accountability sisters or brothers, people who will bring you back to the positive side. Not people who will feed the self-doubt with fear, doubt and worry. Figure out who is right for you and who isn’t, that helps. I have different people I speak to about different things; my accountability sisters have been a huge blessing in my life. I have never met these women face to face and we have all only been friends for a year, but it feels like forever.

What’s next for Lola?
That’s a great question. I say that because I don’t fully know, Lol.

I know what direction I am headed, what I want to achieve, I know what gets me excited, emotionally happy that I start to cry at just the thought of it. There is no prefect way/route to get there but there’s a perfect Father, God, and His ways and plans for my life are far better than my plans for myself.

There’s no doubt that I am meant to be an actress, I have never believed in it more than I do now. I also do not want to rush and make unnecessary mistakes or decisions along the way, it would be amazing to get called up for a role right now, but there’s a process, I don’t want to start half ready, so I am doing the work now.

I take life as it comes, one day at a time. It’s good to make long term plans but I don’t rely on those plans because we all know how life is, Lol. I rely on God. I have grown to appreciate the NOW, where I currently am because where I am today is connected to where I am going to. It’s no mistake that this is my path, I feel it and I am ready to face the tests and trials because most importantly, I know I am not running this race alone, God is always with me. I do not take it for granted, I pray for contentment and patience a lot because it is so easy to miss my old life of always having money when I needed it, spending how I liked, traveling when I want to, to now when my cash flow is limited. I have literally started a new life chapter, I have started from the bottom again and that’s perfectly okay. I knew there was more in life for me and I am sacrificing what I have to, to achieve it all. There’s a price to pay for everything great, your dreams, desires, passion. The questions are, are you ready to pay for it? How bad do you want it?

What advice would you give African millennial women who desire a career in the arts?
Please go for it. If you feel it deep in your gut, if it keeps you up at night, the slight thought of it makes your heart race and you can see the pictures so clearly in your head then please GO FOR IT.

People say you can do whatever you set your mind to, I didn’t believe it until I started chasing my dreams.

Africa is evolving daily, and our creative industry is one to look out for. We have so many talented people who feel chasing their dreams is a waste of time because their parents or someone said it to them that and they believed it.

Understand that you are who you choose to be, do not live life dependent on what others have to say about you. You have to make your own decisions.

If it seems hard at first, that’s because it is, and you have to work twice as hard if you do not have things easily handed to you. Never give up, do not quit, keep pushing. There will be days where you’ll feel drained and tired and you’ll probably scream and say God why, God when, God do they have two heads. That’s fine, scream, cry, but get back up and keep pushing forward.

Surround yourself with positive people, think positive thoughts. And most importantly, seek God and not just surface level, it has to be continuous and once it becomes a part of you, you will want nothing more than to be in His presence. I am a Jesus baby and it’s pretty hard to not include Him in everything I say and do. I really can’t believe I have become this person, I love it, lol.

Do you think it’s ever too late to pursue your dreams?

It is never ever too late to pursue your dreams. We all wish we started early, we say if we go back in time we would have lived life in our 20’s the smart way but I don’t mind because not everyone was created to start at a certain age. Our destinies are not the same, our paths are all different, they may connect but they are all different.

So, I say do not beat yourself up, it is never too late. What’s important is the journey and to finish right. When you realize you’re not doing what you were created to do, no matter what age, get up and start going after that one thing that brings all the joy to you and doesn’t feel like a job.

As a spiritual person, I’ll say this; This life is never without troubles, sadness, disappointments and tears. However, what distinguishes the people of God is their relationship with God.

***

Follow @lolaadamson_ on Instagram.

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Banish Butt Acne with these Easy Tips https://queenmoremi.com/2020/06/banish-butt-acne-with-these-easy-tips/ Sat, 13 Jun 2020 20:31:37 +0000 http://queenmoremi.com/?p=3274 Have you ever caught yourself staring at the mirror trying to fit into your jeans and just as you keep staring at it, it stares right back at you. Arrgghh!…]]> Have you ever caught yourself staring at the mirror trying to fit into your jeans and just as you keep staring at it, it stares right back at you. Arrgghh! The dreaded ugly butt acne (a.k.a buttne). This common skin problem called “folliculitis,” is formed due to clogged hair follicles rather than clogged pores as commonly thought.

A lot of women suffer from the embarrassing spot(s) on their behinds- and if you are one of the few that don’t, lucky you!

So, what causes pimples to flare-up on your tush?

Folliculitis is often caused by bacteria. Sometimes, it may be fungal or yeast-related, or from irritants like dust, and chemicals around the hair follicle area. Factors that could trigger butt acne are: Bad hygiene, sweat, and tight-fitting clothes.

How to avoid the booty breakouts
The best way to avoid the bum breakout is to maintain good hygiene and shower regularly. Also, since it can be caused by friction, you should consider wearing loose-fitting clothes made out of breathable fabrics, especially when you’re sleeping. After working out, change out of your workout clothes and shower immediately.
The common mistake people often make when trying to get rid of bum acne is to over- scrub and over-exfoliate.

Most ladies think that using body scrubs and loofahs help get rid of acne, but in reality, it’s just worsening the inflammation. This can then lead to potential scarring and hyper pigmentation.

Lifestyle changes to banish ’Buttne’
1. Instead of going crazy on body scrubs, you should use body cleansers that contain benzoyl peroxide, as this helps keep pesky causing bacteria at bay. That’s not to say exfoliating your buttocks is all wrong, just consider using more gentle exfoliants, like salicylic acid or glycolic acid to break down dead skin cells and remove buildup.

2. Wear clean workout clothes to the gym, shower and change immediately after working out

3. Drink more water to help flush out toxins from your body

4. If you are prone to butt acne or have a sensitive skin, consider switching to hypo-allergenic body products and detergents that don’t have harsh chemicals or fragrances

5. As tempting as it may be, DON’T pop the pimples! This can make them more inflamed and possibly spread the infection.

The general rule of thumb if you are prone to sweating is to keep your bum clean and properly moisturized.  However, if your butt acne is caused by a fungus, you’re better off seeking treatment from a dermatologist.

Photo Credit: Nemanja Glumac

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A Healing Miracle, Finding an Amazing Husband & Evolving in Christ: Oyinda Sanwoolu Shares Testimonies of God’s Love https://queenmoremi.com/2020/06/a-healing-miracle-finding-an-amazing-husband-evolving-in-christ-oyinda-sanwoolu-shares-testimonies-of-gods-love/ Fri, 05 Jun 2020 01:42:58 +0000 http://queenmoremi.com/?p=4188 God can do amazing things in our lives if we let go and let Him lead the way. Lawyer, HR professional, and serial entrepreneur, Oyindamola Sanwoolu, shares her faith journey…]]> God can do amazing things in our lives if we let go and let Him lead the way. Lawyer, HR professional, and serial entrepreneur, Oyindamola Sanwoolu, shares her faith journey with us, as she reveals how her walk with Christ has transformed and renewed her life over time.

As we celebrate International Women’s Day today, her story reminds us that “balance for better” is more than just a catch phrase. Damola reminds us that when we balance our faith in God with our human expectations, a beautiful thing happens – God takes the wheel and gives our situation a total makeover, and in the end, we are better for it.

When and how did you first gain an awareness about God?
I was born into a Christian home so I have always been aware of God. As a child, I had the sort of relationship that is expected of a child – I loved Bible club, the Christian videos etc.

My teenage years were a bit of a blur as I suffered a loss that disconnected me from the reality of God. So, I always knew God was there, but if we were going to have a personal relationship, He was going to have to catch my attention big time – I wanted my burning bush experience!

In 2011, I was to undergo a surgical procedure and I said to God, now is your time to show me who you are. I was radical about it, I didn’t know how He was going to do it , but I wasn’t having any surgery. A few months down the line, I travelled to the UK to have the procedeure. Two days before the scheduled surgery date, I had a routine consultation with the doctor where he talked me through the procedure and any questions I had ( my main concern was anaesthesia – what if I didn’t wake up!). Anyway, after the consultation, the Doctor looked at me and said he didn’t think undergoing the procedure was necessary any longer and cancelled. He cancelled the scheduled surgery!

That day was it for me. I was, and still am, in awe of a God that was willing to come down to meet me right where I am. A God that will do whatever it takes to prove Himself to you.

How has your journey with God been since then?
Have you ever heard the phrase “walk with Jesus and you will never walk alone”? This is what it has been for me. It hasn’t been the easiest or smoothest of rides and there have definitely been times that have caused to momentarily question my faith. But as I have continue to strive to grow as a Christian, God has consistently shown Himself to be an amazing father and friend – I have found joy in the midst of pain, stumbled on love in some very dark places and gained the confidence to be myself.

As a Nigerian millennial woman, were you ever influenced by societal pressure to get married by a certain age?
In my teenage years, I had it all worked out – get married at 24 and have 4 kids by 30. This was just what I assumed the natural progression of life was. This didn’t happen. I wasn’t even married by my 30th birthday.  At about 25/26 most of my friends were getting married and having babies, there was definitely some pressure there but it wasn’t something I let influence me.

You recently got married, congrats! How’s newlywed life treating you?
Thank you! It has been a great journey so far. As I always say “we are learning everyday” 😊

How did you meet your husband?
We met at Church. We were both on the launch team for a youth church and leadership team after inception. One day, he asked me to coffee, I said “sure,” we went to the café… the rest as they say, is history!

In what ways did your faith in God play a role in picking your spouse?
Honestly, I did not always use faith as a guide when choosing the relationships I got into earlier. So, I always say my marital destiny was special to God’s heart because He was constantly uprooting me from the wrong relationships – one day I’m in a relationship, the next it is over. I just knew in my heart that God wanted the best for me and that my husband must be a physical representation of God’s love for me. So I was always glad for His interventions!

One day, I was having a heartfelt sincere tête-à-tête with God about why I seemed to not be making the right decisions about my relationships. And God said to me clearly, that his desire for me was a relationship where we will both complement each other’s ministries –  in God’s actual words “someone who you will do ministry together”. I remember laughing out loud and saying to God, as if the pool of eligible men isn’t small enough, you are adding ministry into it.

From that moment, it became more important to me to be with a man that was not only God fearing (because we all say we are) but someone who had a genuine heart for God, that you could see from his faith, ministry and worship.

You were once engaged years ago but that relationship did not lead to marriage. Can you tell us more about that?
It just didn’t. Marriage has never been the be all or end all for me. We were not right for each other and did not see the future that I wanted with him.

How did you cope in the aftermath of that relationship?
I was actually okay with. During our engagement, I was often filled with fear and apprehension because I knew in my heart that getting married to him was not the right decision for me. So when we did break up I actually felt relieved more than heart broken. Plus, my formula is give yourself a “crying period – and then move on.

How did you find the will and courage to give love a second chance?
I always said that I will never let one person or experience rob me of a lifetime of happiness. I think hidden in me somewhere was a fairy-tale I wasn’t willing to let go of.

In what ways have you evolved as a result of these experiences, and what valuable lessons do you feel you have learned?
The one key thing I have learnt is to be intentional about relationships. Be very clear, mature and reasonable on what it is you want from a partner. Don’t just see as things go, don’t ignore red flags and don’t settle! This applies to all areas of life – be intentional!

What advice would you give to any millennial woman who may be in a relationship but is unsure if their partner is husband material?
What is “husband material” 😊Well, according to whatever your definition is, if you there are things that are making you unsure about a man, leave. Ladies please, we are not talking about petty things but things that you know you cannot come to accept or live with. No one changes in marriage, marriage actually amplifies everything – the good, bad and ugly!

What are some practical ways you would advise newlyweds to involve God in their marriage?

  • Let the Bible be your reference point for everything. For me, I have chosen a verse to guide my actions and thoughts. Proverbs 14:1 – The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.
  • Pray together, be it the simplest of prayers.
  • Have Godly mentors. People that will guide you truthfully and not fail to admonish you when you are wrong.
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Once Bullied for Being “Too Dark” & Now a Successful Model: Nyakim Gatwech is Unstoppable https://queenmoremi.com/2020/06/once-bullied-for-being-too-dark-now-a-succesful-model-nyakim-gatwech-is-unstoppable/ Fri, 05 Jun 2020 00:15:00 +0000 http://queenmoremi.com/?p=700 Nyakim Gatwech moved to the US at the age of 14 under the most dire circumstances – she was a refugee who fled from her home country, Sudan. However, this…]]> Nyakim Gatwech moved to the US at the age of 14 under the most dire circumstances – she was a refugee who fled from her home country, Sudan. However, this misfortune did not deter her from dreaming big: She aspired to be a model.

These aspirations almost got shattered, as she got bullied in High School for being “too dark” and “ugly.” The incessant negative comments really affected her self-esteem for a while, causing her to want to dump her dreams.

But she persevered, and today, she is a succesful model. Nyakim, now 24 years old, recently spoke with Cosmopolitan about her journey to success. Here are excerpts from the interview:

What was your vision of America like when you arrived at age 14?

Oh, it was going to be like heaven. Living in a refugee camp [in Africa meant] sleeping in tents, not knowing where your dinner is coming from, not drinking clean water. America is education, food, hospitals, not feeling like your child will pass away because there’s no medical care. [But] you come here and realize you have to work hard for everything. Yeah, it’s not as heavenly as it seems, as it was made out to be back home. But at the end of the day, America is a really great country if you make it.

You haven’t always received positive reactions to your skin tone. You mentioned you were bullied by classmates when you moved to Buffalo, New York.

They would say, you know, I’m too black, my skin is too dark. They’d be like, “You don’t take showers. That’s why your skin is dirt.” Or, “Smile so we can see you, Nyakim. We can’t see you.” And then, in class, for example, the teacher would ask a question and say, “Oh, Nyakim, can you answer that?” A kid would say, “Who are you talking to? We can’t see her. She’s not here.” The whole class would start laughing, and I would just cry. The kid who would say that would go to the principal, or [he] would get in trouble. But the whole class was feeling what this kid was saying.

What were you thinking at the time?

I just kept to myself. I was like, “These people don’t accept me.” I was already having trouble with the language barrier and learning English to communicate with my teachers. I had always wanted to be a model, but after that I thought, “These kids think I’m ugly. I don’t see myself on social media, or TV, or in the magazines. I don’t think I’m meant to be a model.” I pushed that thought out of my head.

Did you ever consider bleaching your skin in the past?

At one point, I did consider it. When I came to America from a refugee camp in Africa [at age 14], I lived in Buffalo, New York. I would cry myself to sleep after being bullied [about my skin]. There are so many beautiful dark-skinned Sudanese women who bleach their skin. My own sister did it. But when I told her I wanted to [after living in America for a few months], she told me no. She said, “You would not just be bleaching your skin, you would be bleaching your mind. I did it and I regret it. I’m not going to let my daughter do it, or you — nobody.”

Did the bullying continue when you moved to Minnesota later that year?

I’d walk into the grocery store, and people would stare at me. I could hear people saying under their breath, “Oh my God, she’s so black. Is that even normal?” [To meet friends,] I tried joining sports — track and field. [My teammates would] say, “Are we going to be able to even see her when it’s her turn to pass the relay stick?” I quit track. I just kept to myself.

How do you react to online haters?

The negative reactions or comments don’t affect me as much now — some of them I laugh at. But there are some that go deep and bring me down for a little bit. Some people say I get followers because people feel bad for me, not because I’m actually beautiful. They say I’m the dumbest person ever. But there are millions more people who think I’m beautiful and give me positive feedback.

By sharing her experiences about people’s reactions to her dark skin, Nyakim, who is a part-time school teacher and part-time model, has amassed a huge following on Instagram.  She has more than 300,000 followers, and and has booked professional gigs ranging from local magazine covers to national campaigns for brands like Aldo. 

Read the entire interview here.

Photo Credit: Cosmopolitan/Ruben Chamorro

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Overcoming HIV: A Millennial Woman’s Story https://queenmoremi.com/2020/06/overcoming-hiv-a-millennial-womans-story/ https://queenmoremi.com/2020/06/overcoming-hiv-a-millennial-womans-story/#comments Mon, 01 Jun 2020 04:13:41 +0000 http://queenmoremi.com/?p=3650 Ci Ci and I both attended The University of Georgia,in the United States. I met her at an undergraduate sociology class. Back then, I noticed that she always had an aura…]]>

Ci Ci and I both attended The University of Georgia,in the United States. I met her at an undergraduate sociology class. Back then, I noticed that she always had an aura of quiet resilience about her. She may not have spoken much, but when she did, she spoke assertively-yet-calmly.

I recently reconnected with her randomly thanks to Uncle Mark (Zuckerberg)with Intagram’s friend suggestions feature. I remembered her from college and so I followed her and of course, proceeded to look at all her Instagram posts. 

It was while reviewing her posts that I discovered that she was HIV Positive.  I was quite moved by the fact that she was sharing her story with the world with no inhibitions. I was pleased to see that her assertive and resilient spirit remained unbroken, despite her predicament. And so I reached out to her to ask if she would share her story with us, and she graciously obliged. 

I hope that by sharing her story, we can raise more awareness about HIV and help to mitigate the stigma against people living with the virus. I also hope that African millennial women can become more enlightened by hearing this firsthand from a fellow millennial woman of colour. 

Tell us about yourself

My name is Ciarra. ButCi Ci is who I am. I am 30 years old, and I’m  from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I have been HIV-positive since I was 20 years old.

What were your childhood, teenage years, and 20s like?

My childhood was very sad and chaotic. My parents were not in a good place when I was born and this cultivated an extremely dysfunctional environment. My teenage years were depressing. I didn’t want to be here anymore. This is when my suicide attempts happened because I was just that sad. In my 20s I learned a lot about myself and my expectations of others. My faith in God grew and I began to trust Him. Life has been so much better since.

Growing up, what were your aspirations in life?

Growing up, I wanted to be a dancer. I grew up during the time of music videos. I would study all of the dances they did in the videos until I knew them by heart. I wanted to get married to my prince in shining armor and have children. I wanted to live a normal life.

Have those aspirations changed now in your adult life? If yes, in what ways?

Yes a little. Well the dancer thing went out the window. For one, I can’t dance. So now, I just dance in the house for fun. I get the same kick out of it. About the marriage thing. I’ve been married before, in my early 20s and that didn’t work out. BUT I had the child that I wanted, so it’s a win. Being married and divorced so young matured me very quickly. I see marriage differently now and I am certainly taking my time with the next one. And normal? I realized that there is no such thing. So now, I just merely aspire to be the best CiCi.

What prompted you to get tested for HIV?

I was going to the clinic for a regular check up so that I could get birth control. That was always my concern – not getting pregnant. It was never not catching HIV because it wasn’t real to me at the time. They offered the HIV test and I was like, “Sure!” This one always comes back negative. So why not?

How did you contract HIV?

From a guy that I was sleeping with while in college. I had a time where I had multiple partners, so it’s always hard to just pin it on one person. I have a pretty good idea though.

What was your initial reaction when you first found out you had the virus?

I cried.

How did you cope with the news?

Actually, me and my mom cried for three days. On the fourth day, it was like why am I crying?  Obviously I had this virus a few weeks ago and I was able to smile then. So what makes it different now? Because I know? I turned my perception around and began to educate myself about it so that I could learn how to manage it moving forward. I’ve been living since.

What was your family and loved ones’ reactions?

The men in my family were ready to go find the dude who gave it to me. That would have never ended well. So I never told them who. My grandmother was in denial at first. She wanted me to keep getting tested. The relationship between my father and I was a little estranged at that time. And I hear he didn’t take the news well. But there was always support and never a moment that they didn’t love on me. We often forget that I’m living with it.

Before your diagnosis, what was your perception of people who had HIV? In what ways has that perception changed now?

My perception of someone living with HIV was that they would look a certain type way. I know it sounds crazy, but I literally thought that I would be able to tell when a penis didn’t look right. People with HIV would somehow stick out. Think of the most ignorant thought in the regard to the virus and I probably had it. O, am I humbled now! It’s crazy because now since I’m actually living with it and experiencing it, I know I have the responsibility to adjust those perceptions people have. If I thought that way, someone else probably does too.

What are some major obstacles you have faced as an individual living with HIV? How are you overcoming these challenges?

HIV is more of a psychological thing for me. On some days, I find that I’m beating myself up for something that happened over ten years ago. So I have to check myself often to make sure my thoughts are not wandering off into negative self talk. I oversaturate my mind with positive thoughts and love.

From your perspective, what are some major misconceptions about HIV?

I think that people feel that they are invincible. Like HIV can’t touch them. When I hear this, I often like to point out that HIV can be transmitted the same way that others STDs are – and many of us have had an experience (or two) with those. Another major misconception is that if you sleep with someone who has the virus then you are going to get it. That’s not necessarily true. I mean, you have to be more careful, such as getting tested regularly and ensure the person with it is properly taking their medicine. I have been undetectable for years, making it like nearly impossible for me to pass it.

You have a son that is HIV negative. Tell us more about that

Yes. My Zionis the product of my early marriage. I love him so much! I worked closely with the doctors while I was pregnant to ensure that I would be undetectable at the onset of labor. They were wonderful. His father is negative, so I was the only threat to him. But, my medicine regimen worked and I was able to give birth to him through my vagina. He did not contract the virus from me and that makes me so happy. He proved to me that I can’t be dangerous to nobody else.

You are currently in a loving relationship. Tell us more about that

I just love him. He is so, so supportive of me in everything that I do. We are like this team and it’s feels good to experience that. He has never treated me any type of way because of the virus. He’s HIV negative and has taken the time to become educated about the virus. Again, I love that man!

What’s your advice for millennial women of African descent who are currently living with the virus?

Do not give up. Follow some people on social media who are living with the virus so that you may be inspired. Life goes on and this is not a death sentence. Yes, it may change how you move but that doesn’t mean you stop. You are not alone sis, there are soooo many of us out here.

If you could turn back time, what would you do differently?

I would have loved myself earlier. It was because of this lack of self love that I was just out there doing stuff. Dumb stuff.

What advice would you give young women today about protecting themselves from the virus?

Make wise decisions, ladies. We don’t often think in moments of passion, the effects that they could have on our life. When you have sex, especially unprotected sex with someone, you are trusting them with your entire life. Looking back on the guys I entertained, I wouldn’t trust them with my dog now, you hear me? Use condoms at all times. Treat everyone as if they have HIV and aren’t taking their medicine. You know, if you are in a monogamous relationship, the rules change up a little bit. But remember again, your life is in their hands. And do you trust them like that?

***

To learn more about Ci Ci’s journey, follow her on Instagram and read her blog: Healing Is Voluntary 

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On Losing Friendships: Three Lessons I Learned https://queenmoremi.com/2020/05/on-losing-friendships-three-lessons-i-learned/ Wed, 13 May 2020 17:59:20 +0000 http://queenmoremi.com/?p=3909 I recently lost a 12-year-friendship with someone I cared so much about. Really, I thought that this was going to be a lifetime friendship. I’m not gonna go into details…]]> I recently lost a 12-year-friendship with someone I cared so much about.

Really, I thought that this was going to be a lifetime friendship. I’m not gonna go into details about what transpired, because I do not want to relive the hurtful moments or the stress involved with coping with this experience.

However, I want to talk about things I have learned from losing friendships based on my experience, with the hope that someone going through a similar experience can learn a thing or two from mine.

  • Not All Friendships Are Meant To Last Forever: As much as it hurts to say this, it is actually true. Some friendships are seasonal or meant to only last for a certain amount of time. There are even times when you are best friends with someone this period and later on, you barely keep in touch with each other. I don’t know if there’s a way to ascertain what kind of friendship you have with all the people in your life, but I do know that not all friendships are lifetime friendships. It is what it is.
  • The Internal Questioning Never Ends – When you lose a friendship that you thought would last forever, there is a lot of internal questioning. You find yourself asking if you are a bad person or a bad friend. Even when it’s evident that the other person is at fault, there will be times when you find yourself thinking about what you ever did wrong that led to the death of the friendship. You’ll wonder if you could have done or said something different. If you fully believe that you had no part to play, and it was the other person’s fault, you may ask how on earth you were ever friends with that kind of person because that whole episode exposed you to a different side of them.
  • Life Goes On – If losing a friendship caused you a lot of pain, it could lead you to a dark side. I once saw a tweet – “Friendship breakup hurts more than relationship breakup” and I can’t even explain how APT that saying is. However, the truth of the matter is this – life will and does go on. Maybe one day in the future, you will regain your friendship. Maybe truly that ship has sailed forever. Whatever the case may be, life will go on and I hope that you take the lessons learned from your lost friendships to help you become a better friend to the ones you currently have.

To my lost friends, Thank you for being a part of my life and even though we aren’t in each others’ lives anymore. I had good times with you and I will cherish those memories forever.

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From Addiction to Skin Lightening to Embracing Her Natural Complexion: Makeup Artist Tenny Coco is Such an Inspiration https://queenmoremi.com/2020/05/from-addiction-to-skin-lightening-to-embracing-her-natural-skin-tone-makeup-artist-tenny-coco-is-giving-us-blackgirlmagic-goals/ Mon, 11 May 2020 01:00:04 +0000 http://queenmoremi.com/?p=578 In a world where we are constantly bombarded with both explicit and implicit messages that “lighter is better,” it is truly refreshing to increasingly see dark-skinned women of colour embracing…]]> In a world where we are constantly bombarded with both explicit and implicit messages that “lighter is better,” it is truly refreshing to increasingly see dark-skinned women of colour embracing their natural skin tone.

One of such women is popular makeup artist, Teniola Aisha Kashaam, known popularly as Tenny Coco. 

In a recent Instagram post, she revealed how her obsession with skin lightening began at the age of 19, and how finally at the age of 25, while reflecting on her life during her birthday period, she had an epiphany, and resolved to stop lightening her skin.

She said:

“My Road to Melanin:At the age of 19, I started lightening my skin….. By the time I was 20, I had become a heavy Skin bleacher… at the time it felt almost normal, I felt like I looked more attractive….. it became an addiction, I just couldn’t stop. I craved so much to be lighter.. I felt being black wasn’t beautiful enough. What a stupid way to have thought… I guess the society we live in played a little role in my decision to bleach my skin… coupled with being very Naive at that age. It’s widely perceived that the lighter you are, the more beautiful you look. To be honest I always knew it was a bad thing… I mean, I had seen loads of people with ridiculously damaged skin courtesy the effects of bleaching but I was just so deep into it… like I said it’s actually an addiction. 

As my 25th birthday started approaching I started to do a lot of Soul searching, a lot of self evaluation… concerning every area of my life and I finally started to see the light… to see how crazy I had been all these years… how crazy it was for me to have believed that my black skin wasn’t beautiful, to have allowed myself to feel inadequate or to try and tell God ‘ how you created me isn’t good enough’ what a silly, crazy way to have lived. Today I’m more than grateful that I finally saw the light. Black is beautiful! So beautiful! Never have I ever felt as beautiful and as at peace with my skin tone as I do now… Please Love your skin/Yourself the way God has made you…. you are beautiful, you are enough.

Time will always tell… imagine how I would look 10-15 years from now if I had continued to bleach my skin. Please don’t do it… I did it and I Had/ have so much Regret… it’s not worth it. You are beautiful just as you are.  I get a lot of messages asking me, how I was able to transition my skin back… I will be sharing all the tips soon enough.  Thank you to everyone who helped me get through this…… the Amount of support.” 

We are definitely loving the glow up! We appreciate the fact that she has been so open about her journey, and we’re sure lots of women who lighten their skin will be inspired by her story.

Embrace your skin tone ladies, whatever complexion you may be. Xx

Photo Credit: Tenny Coco

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Meet Hermon & Heroda: Deaf Twin Lifestyle Bloggers Breaking Boundaries https://queenmoremi.com/2020/05/meet-hermon-heroda-deaf-twin-fashion-bloggers-breaking-boundaries/ Thu, 07 May 2020 06:38:46 +0000 http://queenmoremi.com/?p=4547 Eritrean-Ethiopian Twin sisters, Hermon and Heroda Berhane were 7 years old when they both mysteriously went deaf at the same time. Blavity reports: Their parents took them and their younger brother,…]]>

Eritrean-Ethiopian Twin sisters, Hermon and Heroda Berhane were 7 years old when they both mysteriously went deaf at the same time.

Blavity reports:

Their parents took them and their younger brother, who is also deaf, and moved from Eritrea to America to seek medical help. For a year their mother worked with them on their speech before the family relocated to the UK so that they could have a better education. In boarding school, they learnt the British Sign Language and found a community of friends.

There’s still no explanation for how the twins lost their hearing, but one thing is for sure—the stylish bloggers rose above their disability.
“We believe that us being deaf separates us from the rest of the bloggers out there and that our disability actually enhanced our popularity within media. We never allow being deaf to limit our ambition and disability doesn’t mean inability. We had to do something about it and make our voice heard!”
 Now 34, these fearles beauties have blossoming careers in the fashion and acting worlds.
Their blog, Being HER, showcases affordable Eritrean fashion, travel and storytelling. In addition to sharing their culture through style, they also aim to inspire the deaf community at-large and eliminate the misconception that deaf people are incapable of living fulfilled lives.

Photo Credit: Being Her

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