Much has been said about Beyonce‘s recent heart warming reunion with two of her former Destiny’s Child bandmates – Letoya Luckett and Latavia Roberson. But amidst the exciting headlines about their reconciliation lies a crucial message about forgiveness.
Destiny’s Child was arguably one of the most successful all-girl band before the depature of Letoya and Latavia in January 2000. Both ladies left the group to find new management after financial disputes and disagreements with manager, Mathew Knowles, over his preferential treatment towards his daughter, Beyonce and Kelly Rowland.
What people thought was an amicable split soon turned ugly when the “Say My Name” video which debuted a month after they exited the group, featured two new members Michelle Williams and Farrah Franklin in their place. In several media interviews, the ousted group members would reveal that they weren’t even aware that they had been replace until they saw this video.
The legal battles and public war of words that ensued thereafter severed the band’s connections with the two former founding members.
Over a decade later, the forgiveness that seemed elusive for the ladies has finally been found – though fans wished for this reconciliation many years ago. Recently, Beyonce was seen with Latavia and Letoya respectively on two seperate occasions during her co-tour with Jay Z, OTRII.
Two things their reunion teaches us is that time heals wounds and forgiveness is possible.
Though forgiveness seems like a simple concept, it remains one of the difficult things for us to give, especially because of the negative thoughts that keep us miserable when we attempt to forgive — “You were wronged.” “Forgiving means you are weak”. “Hold on to the anger.” “Don’t let them off that easy”
However, the purpose of forgiveness is not to forget or deny hurt nor is it primarily about reconciling with the offender. It’s about taking power over how we choose to respond.
If you are struggling to let go and forgive, here are a few nuggets to keep in mind:
When we choose to hold on to hurt, pain, resentment, and anger it harms us far more than it harms the person that has caused us hurt or pain. Forgiveness allows you to put the burden down and let go.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute if the strong.” ~ Gandhi
Forgiveness lets you regain your own power by allowing you to control the situation by the way you react to it. We maintain anger, regret, hatred, or resentment towards someone and give up our power to others when we refuse to forgive – we allow ourselves to become weak.
“It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody”- Maya Angelou
Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself, to be at peace and to be happy. You’re not doing this for them, you’re doing it for yourself, to set yourself free from the feelings of hurt and anger. Many people waste years of their lives in bitterness and resentment when they could, through forgiveness, have lived that time in happiness.
“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” — Paul Boese
We can’t erase the past, but we can choose to let go of the pain in order to live a happier, more fulfilling life.
