I used to think that once you’re married, consent sort of… stops being a conversation. Not because anyone said that directly, but because of the way people talk. Like, “Your body isn’t your own anymore,” or “Once you’re married, you have to be available.”
So I assumed saying yes would become automatic, expected. Even if you’re tired. Even if you’re not in the mood. Even if your head and heart aren’t in the same place. Because that’s what a good wife does, right?
But the more I think about it, the more I realize that idea doesn’t leave room for your humanity. Or your emotions. Or your safety. And it definitely doesn’t sound like love.
Yes, marriage is about giving. About serving. About showing up for each other. But that doesn’t erase the need for consent. Marriage doesn’t cancel boundaries — it invites a more sacred version of them. The kind where you choose each other again and again, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually too.
Consent in marriage isn’t just about “yes” or “no.” It’s about how and why you’re saying it. It’s not about withholding, but it’s also not about ignoring what you’re feeling. It’s okay to say: “I’m not in the right headspace right now, but can we talk about it?” or “I’m just tired right now.” That’s not rejection. That’s honesty. And healthy intimacy is built on that.
And husbands? This is for you, too. Consent isn’t just a “women’s thing.” It’s not just about asking, it’s about caring. Really caring. About what your wife needs, how she feels, and if she feels emotionally safe enough to show up.
No one’s saying turn your marriage into a permission slip. This isn’t about ticking boxes. It’s about staying tender, keeping intimacy mutual, and never letting expectations replace real connection.
Because the goal isn’t just sex, it’s oneness and that only thrives in places where both people feel seen, heard, and honored.
So yeah — consent still matters. Even in marriage. Especially in marriage.
