Forgiveness is easy to post about, but much harder to live through. Someone hurt you, maybe they never said sorry, or maybe they did but the wound didn’t close. You’ve moved on, but not all the way. The memory still stings a little. And forgiving them? It feels like letting them off the hook.
But the truth is: forgiveness isn’t really for them. It’s for you. To stop rehearsing what happened. To stop tying your joy to someone else’s apology. You don’t have to act like it didn’t matter. But if you keep waiting for it to feel fair, you might hold on forever. “Forgive, as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13) That’s the assignment. And it’s hard. But necessary.
Forgiveness is also about yourself, and sometimes that’s even harder. Maybe it was a mistake you made, a season you mishandled, a version of you that you’ve outgrown but can’t seem to forget. You know God forgives you, but you haven’t quite caught up. You keep revisiting the guilt like it’s a punishment you deserve. But grace doesn’t work like that. If God no longer holds it against you, why are you still dragging it?
So, how do you start to forgive?
You stop trying to win the moment and start protecting your peace. You write a letter and don’t send it. You talk it out with someone safe. You give yourself time, but don’t make bitterness your brand. You stop rehearsing “what you should’ve said.” You pray for the person, even if it’s just one line. “God, help me let this go.” That’s a beginning.
And for yourself? You talk to the version of you that didn’t know better and tell her, “We’re growing now. It’s okay.” You stop calling yourself a mistake. You remember that “there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1)
Forgiveness won’t always feel like closure. It won’t always feel mutual. Sometimes the other person is still in denial. Sometimes you’ll never get the conversation. But peace is a better reward than pride.
You’re not weak for choosing grace. You’re not fake for deciding not to retaliate. And you’re not broken just because you’re still learning how to heal. Forgiveness is hard, but it’s also freedom. And it’s yours to walk in.
